The time needed to build a lawsuit, usually about six to ten months

You’ll eat the fake breast cheese and you’ll like it

Lincoln was already president, so yeah I’d say it’s possible.

A nice bossa nova song about ducks

Zeus to anyone, including himself

My respect, for one.

Yeah but are they, like, available?

Go suck a tampon dry

I make good pastries

Humanity really had it all once

I wanna be Liberace when I grow up ( I’m 35 )

I use ‘my liege’ and ‘boss’ quite a bit.

Citation needed? Nice try CIA I ain’t no snitch.

People are fucking morons

Your lips to Gods ears

That’s too easy and excuses us from the work needed to rescue these people, content in our own moral superiority.

You’re far more likely to encounter problems because you aren’t a citizen. Now isn’t the best time to visit, I’m sorry to say.

When the pigeon knocks over the chess pieces, it sometimes accidently makes a good move.

We don’t have enough fancy people in robes over here, it’s actually a huge component of the insecurity of Americans that we don’t really have the cultural history of the rest of the world ( since we violently genocided the existing one we found when we got here )

As Lincoln proved, we need more Big Hats

Oh, no, they meant it as a sardonic observation not a jab at China

Learning that Life survived Snowball Earth gave me a huge sense of comfort.