weedwolf

I feel like I always stumble on these topics too late.

I have trauma from my parents(namely my mother, dad died early and skipped out on this mess) and I held a ton of resentment for a long time, and I’m always a hair’s width away from cutting it all down. What stops me is that she’s disabled. Like, intellectual disability + borderline PD, but still able to hide it mostly, but also she should have gone to intensive therapy. My siblings and I drew the lucky sticks and have our faculties but we still have inherited disabilities; for instance I’m on the spectrum along with schizoid PD, and idiopathic physical conditions. A lot of my issues were ignored when I was younger in favor of my brother and sister, and now, 10-15 years later I’m stuck in a medical mystery loop. Even when I bring up the medical, physical and emotional neglect to my mom she just brushes it off as a joke and I’m just being dramatic. And with some of it, it’s like the regular abuser denial but I truly think for the majority of it she quite literally does not functionally understand what her actions did that hurt me and through extension my two siblings.

I am child free because I understand my deficits and how they would ultimately have a negative impact on an innocent person who didn’t choose to be here. I am glad to say I was able to get sterilized fairly easily. My mother has flip flopped between “you’re so selfish I won’t get grand babies” and “good I hate children”, so it’s safe to say I’m not even sure what her actual opinion is on my choices to be vehemently child free. I wish I could go no contact so badly, but I also feel like a heartless bitch because in her case she has the emotional and mental capability of a 15 year old, and she’s actually fairly genuine. But at the same time, why did I have to live the childhood I had, all because someone literally does not understand how raising children works? Sometimes it really is a rock and a hard place.

You’re right; and I do dismiss that opinion quite frequently and have learned at this point to just make no comment and continue the conversation forward.

On that note: I am a member of the art community, I make digital and physical art as a hobbyist. Occasionally I do some commissions for people but it’s not often. But, those commission requests are going down in number because people want instant art. One friend that made the comment of preferring AI art to me the other day said she does so because she doesn’t want to spend time practicing, so instead she likes to generate images and trace them as it’s more efficient and less taxing on her mind to make something. Assuming she’s doing this for fun or therapeutic reasons, why would you want efficiency? Why would making something(even if it’s a simple flower and sun in the corner of the page) be that taxing that you need to generate it? Let’s think of why it’s taxing first rather than skirting around that and using a generator that scrapes data from others illegally.

It’s a consumerist mindset that really leaks into a lot of the aspects I’ve mentioned in my previous comment. And honestly, I don’t think a lot of these people really believe AI art is better, I think they’re so used to instant gratification in almost every part of their life that they’re trying to get that dopamine hit regardless if it’s quality content(work, art, stories, etc) or not.

I don’t hate AI as much as I hate the nonexistent ethics surrounding LLM’s and generative AI tools right now (which is what a lot of people refer to as “AI” at present).

I have friends that openly admit they’d rather use AI to generate “art” and then call people who are upset by this luddites, whiny and butt-hurt that AI “does it better” and is more affordable. People use LLMs as a means to formulate opinions and use as their therapist, but when they encounter real life conversations that have ups and downs they don’t know what to do because they’re so used to the ultra-positive formulated responses from chatGPT. People use AI to generate work that isn’t their own. I’ve had someone already take my own, genuine written work, copy/paste it into claude, and then tell me they’re just “making it more professional for me”. In front of me, on a screen share. The output didn’t even make structural sense and had conflicting information from the LLM. It was a slap in the face and now I don’t want to work with startups because apparently a lot of them are doing this to contractors.

All of these are examples that many people experience with me. They’re all examples of the same thing: “AI” as we are calling it is causing disruptions to the human experience because there’s nothing to regulate it. Companies are literally pirating your human experience to feed it into LLMs and generative tools, turning around and advertising the results as some revolutionary thing that will be your best friend, doctor, educator, personal artist and more. Going further, another person mentioned this, but it’s even weaponized. That same technology is being used to manipulate you, surveil you, and separate you from others to keep you in compliance with your running government, whether it be for good or bad. Not to mention, the ecological impact this has (all so someone can ask Gemini to generate a thank you note). Give the users & the environment more protections and give actual tangible consequences to these companies, and maybe I’ll be more receptive to “AI”.

I work in support; not only is it hard to find someone competent but it’s an incredibly draining job/career because of both management and customers. People are attracted to it because barrier to entry is low, and half the time the actual technical part isn’t necessarily hard, it’s the emotional baggage you’re expected to carry essentially at all times. There’s been multiple instances where I’ve been so burned out, I’m almost certain it’s permanently altered my brain chemistry. On top of that you have low wages, long hours, some places are B2B calls, expected to handle multiple chats at once, and some managers really like to snoop to see what you’re doing all day(I see your icon went idle for 3 seconds, you’re not taking a bathroom break are you? We need all hands on deck at all times).

This will never go away as long as it’s seen as a job any idiot can do. Companies need to change how they truly value support and only then will it get better for the customer. I agree with you; if you find someone good try to be appreciative because the bad ones are a dime a dozen and we are all paid shit.

Maybe not dumbing down, but I can’t ask friends for opinions without them telling me to ask an AI instead.

If I wanted an “opinion” from an LLM I would’ve done that instead. If I’m asking in chat I want YOUR opinion.

I’m not totally sure signal has it, but I like the ram shredding and socks proxy. I know molly isn’t fit for everyone’s threat model but those two features I do like to see so I use it instead; I’ve not run into any issues with it.

Its unfortunate; I speak as a US-ian and the way we make echo chambers rather quickly is not only surprising but annoying. Like I have to make a solid effort to go beyond my enclosure and find more global media and people from all over, because if I’m not careful I’ll accidentally end up in one of the US bubbles and practically have start over to refresh it. One of the best parts of some of the communities I’m in is that they tend to be global, so I at least have that edge but I know for some it can be difficult for users to reach beyond what they know. They just tend to assume everyone they talk to is american.

Yeah, I use the molly fork because there’s features I like about it. I’d be sad if I couldn’t use it anymore. :(

I closed my account soon after I made one, for parallel reasons that you described here. I liked it for a short while because I am apart of the internet art community but it became an echo chamber too quickly. Lot’s of AI dumping and and memification, cringey “We are warriors/witches they couldn’t burn/etc”, no fruitful discussion or organizing for the US peeps, shaming those who aren’t doing exactly what someone else is doing, inner fighting, you name it. I think I just got on the wrong feed but it was pretty miserable and I ended up going back to forums for niche topics and then use lemmy and mastodon for general stuff. I’m waiting for the bubble to burst at some point.

I’m late to reply but putting deodorant on before bed is actually recommended - it takes around 6-8 hours for it to fully sink in and work! I do the same thing. What I was specifically mentioning in my op was bug spray. I used bug repellent(Off is a brand) before bed in high school because of flea infestations my mom refused to fix. I don’t do this (and don’t have to unless I’m camping) anymore thankfully.

You know, I have and they did dX me with eczema. I already knew I had that though; I started getting stress related pomphlox in graduate school. It’s weird what stress can do to you. I will probably go again for another check up to see if they have any further input; I’ve had a busy schedule and have been putting it off for some time. Everyone has been so sweet here though, it genuinely has made me feel better!

Aw thank you! Life is waaay better now, granted I’m an adult and I have much more control over how my environment goes. But I no longer live in fear! So I’d say I’ve come great lengths.

It is kind of random, I only remembered because I have a current ulcer right now that’s healing and it hurts to type sometimes! So it was like a “And by the way…” type of moment. I don’t know what causes it, it’s not insect related or me picking at them. It’s a recent development and when I try to ask my doctor I get a shrug and “your blood labs are amazing!”. I have a few other unexplained conditions I honestly think are related(raynaud’s, dysphagia, autonomic disorders), and when I try looking up other experiences people might have with holes in their fingers I basically get regular finger infections and scleroderma support groups. I have yet to see someone else with literal random holes in their fingertips that cyclically turn into ulcers/heal again lol.

I sniff things. I have a habit where if I am given something I sniff it first looking for a scent first. I do it more often with food than anything else, because I have childhood roach trauma and if anybody has had to deal with the german ones they have a specific smell. Clothing, body care products, boxes, tools, leaves, etc. I sniff it first before I do anything with it. I didn’t realize it was weird until my roommate asked me why I kept sniffing things he gave me to hold.

I also shake my towel before using it (IYKYK). I’m trying to break myself on this one.

In highschool nobody told me it’s not normal to put on Off like body spray before bed.

Anything I am given from my mom or someone I’m not familiar with I leave it out in the sun 100’s ft away from the house for multiple days before I bring it it. I have to inspect every bit of it, shake it, turn it over, etc. Apparently that is not normal, according to some of my coworkers.

I have holes in my fingertips that turn into ulcers and then get better, but it cycles. I’ve been to the doctor multiple times, they are stumped.

I tend to pick at food when I am at someone’s house, especially if I’m new or they recently had a pest problem they’ve let me know about. I’m shut down, I can only drink water or I have to wait it out and then get food outside the home. I feel like a bad house guest but I’m so scared of eating bugs or mouse droppings.

A lot of my abnormalities seem to stem from some sort of trauma response - I know these aren’t normal* now *but trying to break away from some of them is incredibly hard. I have just gotten to the point where I don’t ask anyone if I can shower before I actually shower in my home(it slips sometimes, I can’t help it). As an adult I realize I look like a paranoid ninny and I think my long time best friend just didn’t want to cause a breakdown or something when we were still in high school. I know she probably saw and knew, but I’m lucky I have her and her family worked with kids similar to my situation for a long time so they were the least judgmental people I knew during the dark ages. Also life is tons better, I just need to work on my weird habits like sniffing things. That’s gonna get me one of these days.

I think it has a unique influence that will continue to develop, but I don’t think LLM’s are the only influence to blame. There’s a lot that can influence this behavior, like the theory you’ve described. Off the top of my head, limerence is something that could be an influence. I know that it is common for people to experience limerence for things like video game characters, and sometimes they project expectations onto others to behave like said characters. Other things could be childhood trauma, glass child syndrome, isolation from peers in adolescence, asocial tendencies, the list is long I’d imagine.

For me, self journey started young and never ends. It’s something that’s just apart of the human experience, relationships come and go, then sometimes they come back, etc. I will say though, with what I’m seeing with the people I’m talking about, this is a novel experience to me. It’s something that’s hard to navigate, and as a result I’m finding that it’s actually isolating to experience. Like I mentioned before, I can have one-one chats, and when I see them in person, we do activities and have fun! But if any level of discomfort is detected and the expectation is brought on. By the time I realize what’s happening they’re offering literal formatted templates on how to respond in conversations. Luckily it’s not everyone in our little herd that has this behavior, but the people that do this the most I know for sure utilize ChatGPT heavily for these types of dicussions only because they recommended me to start doing the same not too long ago. Nonetheless, I did like this discussion, it offers a lot of prospect in looking at how different factors influence our behavior with each other.

I can see how people would seek refuge talking to an AI given that a lot of online forums have really inflammatory users; it is one of the biggest downfalls of online interactions. I have had similar thoughts myself - without knowing me strangers could see something I write as hostile or cold, but it’s really more often friends that turn blind to what I’m saying and project a tone that is likely not there to begin with. They used to not do that, but in the past year or so it’s gotten to the point where I frankly just don’t participate in our group chats and really only talk if it’s one-one text or in person. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, even if I were to show genuine interest in the conversation it is taken the wrong way. That being said, I think we’re coming from opposite ends of a shared experience but are seeing the same thing, we’re just viewing it differently because of what we have experienced individually. This gives me more to think about!

I feel a lot of similarities in your last point, especially with having friends who have wildly different interests. Most of mine don’t care to even reach out to me beyond a few things here and there; they don’t ask follow-up questions and they’re certainly not interested when I do speak. To share what I’m seeing, my friends are using these LLM’s to an extent where if I am not responding in the same manner or structure it’s either ignored or I’m told I’m not providing the appropriate response they wanted. This where the tone comes in where I’m at, because ChatGPT will still have a regarded tone of sorts to the user; that is it’s calm, non-judgmental, and friendly. With that, the people in my friend group that do heavily use it have appeared to become more sensitive to even how others like me in the group talk, to the point where they take it upon themselves to correct my speech because the cadence, tone and/or structure is not fitting a blind expectation I wouldn’t know about. I find it concerning, because regardless of the people who are intentionally mean, and for interpersonal relationships, it’s creating an expectation that can’t be achieved with being human. We have emotions and conversation patterns that vary and we’re not always predictable in what we say, which can suck when you want someone to be interested in you and have meaningful conversations but it doesn’t tend to pan out. And I feel that. A lot unfortunately. AKA I just wish my friends cared sometimes :(

I agree with what you say, and I for one have had my fair share of shit asses on forums and discussion boards. But this response also fuels my suspicion that my friend group has started using it in place of human interactions to form thoughts, opinions, and responses during our conversations. Almost like an emotional crutch to talk in conversation, but not exactly? It’s hard to pin point.

I’ve recently been tone policed a lot more over things that in normal real life interactions would be light hearted or easy to ignore and move on - I’m not shouting obscenities or calling anyone names, it’s just harmless misunderstandings that come from tone deafness of text. I’m talking like putting a cute emoji and saying words like silly willy is becoming offensive to people I know personally. It wasn’t until I asked a rhetorical question to invoke a thoughtful conversation where I had to think about what was even happening - someone responded with an answer literally from ChatGPT and they provided a technical definition to something that was apart of my question. Your answer has finally started linking things for me; for better or for worse people are using it because you don’t receive offensive or flamed answers. My new suspicion is that some people are now taking those answers, and applying the expectation to people they know in real life, and when someone doesn’t respond in the same predictable manner of AI they become upset and further isolated from real life interactions or text conversations with real people.