

i guarantee you youre not the only one that has these feelings.
i like to sum it up as something i heard on rick and morty; existence is pain
that said, im reminded of quote from denis leary:
Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT’S IT! End of fucking list!
collect your happiness tokens, and run out the clock… thats all we get.
o0o one thing that helped me… after the kids were all gone… get a dog.
the dog has forced me outside, and into doing things i wouldnt normally do/try.
could also limit your drinking to workdays, smoking to weekends. might generate the tolerance break you need.