• 2 Posts
  • 347 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: June 11th, 2023

help-circle





  • I feel like the stress of being perceived is exactly what drives me to need to be masking all the time, but when I am able to start my hyperfocus I stop noticing the perception as much. I think it’s moreso the actual masking that drains me. But now that I think about it, I remember living with my family and how I would get stressed when other people were awake because they might come to my room and try to talk to me so I ended up doing most of my work at night so I wasn’t keeping my mask on standby to use your words. I ended up being pretty much nocturnal. I don’t think my awareness of the sounds in the house were quite as acute as yours but it was definitely a Thing for me to be bothered by noises in the house when trying to focus, especially when near burnout. And honestly I feel drained just by being in public, even without interacting with anyone. It’s probably a mix of both.

    I can relate to a lot of what you’ve written here though. I mask all the time, I don’t really know how to stop, but it just leaves me completely wrecked after just a few hours of doing it.

    I’m working on finding ways to maybe not unmask, but find more sustainable lower energy masks with safe people. Part of that I guess is finding more safe people. I can pretty much unmask with my partner, but that’s taken a long time to get there. I’d like to be able to spend time with more than exactly one person without burning all my energy on my dumb mask.




  • I read their Steam post. They spend a lot of time defending incest/rape kinks and saying “fiction doesn’t affect reality”. Sure. I don’t think people are gonna play this and immediately go rape their family, and I think people criticizing this sort of game easily get caught up in the “video games cause violence” claim. Australia loves that one.

    But the thing they didn’t address, and I think is a bigger deal, is how this game is clearly leaning on and encouraging a culture of misogyny. The Steam description even talks about learning “what women are really like”, a common refrain from actual misogynists. This game doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and it’s part of a massive normalized rape culture. They’re just hiding behind the “it’s just fiction” defense.

    What I do agree with the post on though (I can’t believe I’m saying that) is that this feels like a Streisand effect situation. This game doesn’t deserve the level of coverage and attention it’s getting. It’s basically free advertising for the misogynistic weirdos who this appeals to, and this ploy of “oh we’re gonna remove it from Steam ourselves” reeks of a desperate grab at more coverage and thus sales. If they were serious about delisting, they wouldn’t have conveniently left it up after making their post—even if only temporarily. It’s a classic “going out of business” sale.

    Edit: They did unlist it on Steam, but it’s still for sale on Itch lol. I’d put good money on this whole affair making them monumentally more sales than they would have otherwise, and they have a larger platform than ever.


  • Tailscale is just a bunch of extra fancy stuff on top of Wireguard. If you don’t need the fancy stuff, using raw Wireguard can be more lightweight, but might require more networking knowledge.

    The biggest thing Tailscale brings you the table is NAT traversal. On top of that it uses direct Wireguard tunnels as necessary instead of creating a mesh like you usually would if you were using raw Wireguard. It also offers convenient bits of sugar like internal DNS, and it handles key exchanges for you so it’s just generally easier to configure. When you do raw Wireguard you’re doing all the config yourself, which could be a pro or a con depending on your needs—and you’ll be editing config files, unlike Tailscale which has a GUI for most things. It also supports some more detailed security options like ACLs and I think SSO, while Wireguard is reliant on your existing firewall for that.

    Here’s what Tailscale has to say about it: https://tailscale.com/compare/wireguard

    I’ve messed around with Tailscale myself, but ultimately settled on running Wireguard. The reason I do that though is because I trust my LAN, and I only run Wireguard at the edge. Tailscale really wants to be run on every node, which in turn is something that raw Wireguard theoretically can do but would be onerous to maintain. If I didn’t trust my LAN, I’d probably switch to Tailscale.


  • A lot of people have suggested Tailscale and it’s basically the perfect solution to all your requirements.

    You keep saying you need ProtonVPN which means you can’t use Tailscale, but Tailscale actually supports setting up an exit node which is what you need. Put Protonvpn on the Raspberry Pi, then set it up as an exit node for your tailnet. There’s a lot of people talking about how they did this online. It looks like they even have native support for bypassing the manual setup if you use Mullvad.

    As long as every client has the ability to use Tailscale (I.e. no weird TVs or anything) this seems like it checks all your boxes. And since everything is E2EE from Tailscale, TLS is redundant and you can just use HTTP.






  • I think your take is reductive. Gender isn’t about stereotypes. I’m sure that for many trans people, part of their trans discovery was not feeling like a stereotypical member of their sex, but there’s more to it than that. You can say that gender relates to a lot of things. Gender is ultimately an internal experience that means different things to different people, and isn’t necessarily related to identifying or not identifying with any given stereotype.

    Bioessentialism in turn reduces people to genitals, and sort of refuses to address intersex people because something something “outliers don’t count”. At best it says sure, you can dress up however you want, but it’s super important that everyone know What You Really Are so they can put you in a box and appropriately segregate society.



  • I don’t think “identifying with social stereotypes” is really an accurate representation of what being trans is.

    Sure, there are some people who transition and identify as stereotypical members of their desired gender, but there are also people who transition and are gender nonconforming after their transition, but still identify as binary trans.

    Identifying with social stereotypes also doesn’t account for physical dysphoria, which is very real for a lot of trans folks. Some trans folks change little about their presentation when they transition but still want hormones and/or surgery.



  • I prefer to stick to uncontroversial works made by politically conscious creators, like H.P. Lovecraft!

    But no, I get it. I like art made by people who are or weren’t great. And that’s before considering my participation in the vast system of capitalism which necessarily involves systemic evils far beyond what JKR personally is capable of.

    It just hurts to have a person who is loudly transphobic like JKR, who uses all support of her IP as support of her views, and then all the majority of society has to say is “I love HP tho”. It hurts especially when society is increasingly hostile towards trans people right now.