Sounds like a gag from Monsters U or Monsters at Work. Wazowski tries to wink at someone, but just ends up blinking and he can’t do it no matter how hard he tries.

This is funny and relatable.

I bet you aren’t picky. Just the next flight out of the state is fine.

It’s wild to think that he would

Buy a plane ticket (but buying a ticket offline the day of is suspicious)

Reading online fanfiction is free. Sure, the quality varies, but I can quit any time I want. I just don’t want to.

Searching the filesystem. There’s no reason Windows Search needs to access the internet. Fucking Bing.

Just don’t confuse it with fluoride.

I’m gonna need this one explained to me.

Looks like a hydrogen atom with its single proton.

ACAB, even time cops.

Better watch out for the time cops.

You can tell this is a classic meme because of all the JPEG artifacts.

The windows partition is bloat. Delete it.

Making America great (for corporate profits)

It sounds like they’re paying parents to abandon their children to research abroad.

“He’s not a citizen, so isn’t entitled to due process” – My brother in law

You can smuggle imports using importlib.

This post has been brought to you by Motel 6.

Simon Petrikov talking to himself