Gargamel thought that introducing a woman would disrupt Smurf society. But it turns out Smurfs have two personality attributes: the one attached to their name and being very, very into dudes. It’s lore. Look it up.

Don’t forget the bestest healthcare plan ever. Aaaaaaaaaany day now.

You know it’s bad when even a fundie fruitcake like Mike Huckabee makes statements denouncing “settler” terrorism.

The only shocking thing here is that they fired her instead of giving her 7 days of unpaid leave for violating the department’s password sharing policy or some such nonsense.

Every time my friends talk about whatever the new popular TV show is.

Me: “Um, I ate some edibles and watched a Law & Order marathon”.

Scissor Sisters - Take Your Mama

He doesn’t even have to spend that much. Elmo could cut a $10,000 check to Susan Collins and she would introduce the Orphans as Biofuel Act.

He’s still pissed that they built windmills next to his stupid golf course in Scotland and has some insane vendetta against them.

This is where it gets fun. Does she write a tell-all book about how Don Junior’s winkie doesn’t work because of the blow? Or does she sell supplements to MAGA rubes? Does she try to date the crustiest old, rich guy she can find?

Stay tuned for the slow-motion school bus accident that is the US government.

There’s a whole video of this floating around on the internet. I usually don’t go in for videos that look like the old Cops show, but that one is worth a watch.

The woman she was harassing was renting out the basement of the house through Airbnb because she was fleeing domestic violence.

Simonetti didn’t even own the property. She was illegally subletting the basement. The cops showed up and Simonetti was so crazy that the cops weren’t having it.

I let the bad thoughts in and ordered a drink that was a mix of espresso and root beer. It wasn’t undrinkable, but I wouldn’t order it again.

Cold brew and Jarritos mandarin soda is actually pretty good.

Russia vastly underestimates how easy it is to replace executives.

Susan Collins is very concerned. She might write a letter.

Now do Israeli data centers.

To the surprise of absolutely no one.

Thankfully, she’s out in January.

I guess my search history is too crunchy granola, because I get ads for clover and microclover seed. They claim you don’t need to mow, it’s good for pollinators and resists pet urine. If I didn’t think my neighbors would complain, I’d make the switch.

Population 500

Meth Labs 15

Libraries 0

Anything to distract from his massive failure in the Middle East, I guess.

Rumor has it that the plague spreads via domestic violence. Which is bad news for Russia.

How is this race still a dead heat?

Oh, right. Because the only people covering this story are sites like ProPublica and the Intercept.