Yeah don’t worry about it though, I think the only way I could be upset is if I get left on read literally forever, and even then probably not.

Alas, spoonless! We who are lacking in usable silverware etc

i’m picking this back up days later, i’ve got that gold-tier subscription to social anxiety ([…] i just felt bad leaving you on read!)

Especially on the goofy forum, dw about it. I try not to “YOU LEFT ME ON READ” people, chats gotta end and on bearsite they’re like, emphemeral Idk. People just move on, y’know.

like you said it’s hard to perceive anything reliably, doubly so when you’re inside the thing you’re trying to get a view of.

I gotta get out of the thing I wish I coild just be at peace with not perceiving anything. Alas…

you can only get your view of how it went and only in that one moment. you never know when your words are running through someone’s mind totally unbidden.

Can you imagine the things I say living rent-free in anybody’s head? Literally who??? Not possible lmao. Mostly when I go to yap, I have more of a specific idea in mind to yap about, like some idle thought about a gender thing bites at my mind for a week and then I yap. Yappist…

talking her into accepting that a given situation went fine (and that if it hadn’t, there’d be some kind of blatant sign rather than one she had to go hunting for) has sort of forced my brain into the same kind of thought patterns when i start to suffer from “did i have a bad interaction” syndrome.

Should I… give my better half hardcore anxiety so I can fix mine? I mean I’m glad it works but waow.

I wish I could just medicate this shit but sertraline, gabapentin, wellbutrin, tons of stuff that either didn’t work or had side effects as ugly as what they were treating. Idk what I’ll do longterm.

In This House we adore that girl, wherever she is. and yeah, i’ve seen some of your subsequent posts. :< i’m sorry things are so rough in your life.

Hey some good things happened today so there’s that =) as far as being scatter brained again don’t worry about it, you’re fine. I was like Rad, another message!

Oh yeah, kinda ruled actually ngl. Some of the better bearsite chats honestly, thank you.

Was annoying to scroll past though :^) who would ever write something thaaaaat looong…

No but ty

it could be all of them and i wouldn’t know!

My entire being was made up

from my perspective i’d say you have good people skills and a terrible self-image.

This is true, it’s hard to reliably perceive anything so who fuckin knows, right? I cannot judge the success of any interaction ever! Maybe thinking about it in terms of how it went is too goal-oriented again, talking to people is not slot machines after all. But any amount of ambiguity is the mind killer due to anxiety(and also autism), and will result in me awake at 4am turning conversations over in my head wondering how badly it went. Many rooms in my mindpalace are taken up by screaming about old exchanges. My nightmares, haunted by rejection sensitivity!

Even if I could keep going like that forever, (rawdogging that shit is soooo much fun) it would bite me in the ass eventually when someone I’ve upset without realising finally loses their shit at me.

you’ll honestly never know how much i appreciate you just for that one post alone.

i think about her fairly often. she’s another one whose obvious love for something was infectious and a joy to see. i hope she’s well. and i hope you are too, silly.

Never have I respected a weeb as much as cromalin… I hope she is well too. I’m not, but that’s just how it happens Idk.

Ah, Fallow my beloved uh thanks, Idk if I’ll post though.

If I were only shitposting in a mega, sure…

Seems unlikely, is that like a so-bad-it’s-good kind of thing?

really enjoy your passionposting!

Another connoisseur of the infodump love to see it. I am not that knowledgeable about all of my SIs because at least one of them I invented as a bit, but y’know. Thanks…

i like your dedication to deworming people’s brains

Okay no absolutely fucking not one of the easiest “cringe” things to point out is how badly I have failed at conveying any of the bootleg gender enlightenment I’ve obtained to most people. Plus, I really don’t want to be romping around lecturing people about the bugs in their grey matter, it must be pretty galling to post a sad vent in the mega, and have some fucking total dipshit slide into replies like " uhm did you know that gender is made up by a guy" or whatever. There have been fights over this subject, and I truly do not want to be annoying people over it. I lack the people-skills to try to convey it in a way that’s useful, so it is better not to try to engage people deemed “brainwormed” on the topic usually, I think. I would want to be a lot more empathetic and understanding, because I’ve been there too, but I am really bad at it and make enemies that way. Ugly…

one of your posts about asexuality expressed something my partner couldn’t for the life of her put into words,

OKAY this is based, probably a top 5 of my time on bearsite. Since I am too useless to go outside, I pretty much only hope that I can help people at all in any way with my idiot blabbering. This pleases me greatly

It is actually fucked up that people speak of me so often when I leave, I put my username into the search bar once and horror burst forth. My honest reaction is: me? Why not Cromalin or Yor or literally anyody else? No, the yapper?

Also oof ouch I lost, too slow

Deleted comments get me kinda sad. Deleted accounts sadder. Everyone (other than me) should say stuff online at all times…

Well thank you for saying, but it’s still usually awful yapping ✨

Only problem I got with Cifesk is the dramatic oversimplification of Sonic Xtreme’s devtime. That game’s story has a gender revelation in it… Should dedicate a whole video… The sonic slop on sloptube is pretty good though can’t disagree, I did not know people even speedran Heroes tho.

I’m doing GENDER PRAXIS FR FR spreading the theatre kid gospel ig

QUICK REVIEWS

A: I uncritically support this movement, good post.

B: This is a legitimately dumb fuckin shitpost but I laughed when I saw it. Insightful comment below about how many shock sites are just queer sex, too.

C: Dunking on old medical writings is permanently funny. Evergreen posting.

My honest reaction to this information: yeag

q.e.d.

Ah now you got me, I adore Sonic 06. I heard in a Cifesk vidoe recently that maybe 06 was intended to run on Hedgehog once and they were waiting for it to be done… but given that Hedgehog wouldn’t be functional until like 2007 at the earliest, it seems weird that Sonic Team could then bodge together 06’s engine I just dunno, I would love to talk to Sonic Team techs at the time about that.

To be real though my gender posting feels woefully inadequate. Looking back at all the times I’ve been admonished for idiot gender musings, it feels like I arrived at the correct conclusion (gender abolitionism) by cheating the concept of intellect, a bad move that upset very many people.

Really? That’s kind of rad, not that you embarrassed yourself, but like if someone came at me about train level crossings in my work, I’d be impressed, train gang I think. Uncritical support to your once-crusade against trainlets, sincerely.

Imagine posting about a webnovel for months on end, getting mad about one of the pairings being low quality, and then embarrassing yourself in front of the author about it immediately. Before the dark times of the internet age, such a thing was scarcely even possible and would have taken a journalist with zero self awareness - now any bozo can do it!

Why, but also a duel I will surely lose