Selyle

A month or so ago, I was debating if I wanted to upgrade/build a new PC. I eventually decided that if I waited any longer, I’d not just be paying more but might also lose access to certain components I had my eye on- their Y70 Touch Infinite cases being one of those. Super happy I decided to go for it since everything has increased in price, and it seems like we’ll be seeing less of many things from overseas… also it turned out sooo beautiful!

This is kind of the logic that hurts me. People like me will express that those terms make them uncomfortable, but someone will argue that they’ll use gendered words with the intent to be gender neutral. But like…it’s not very empathetic to disregard someone’s feelings because using ‘girl’ is uncomfortable. It’s kind of putting your feelings above there’s. If you have the opportunity to be kind and affirming, to make someone feel safe and comfortable in the world, why not embrace that? A simple change in your language could make someone’s entire day.

My long-time friend and hair stylist very occasionally uses that with me and her other girl friends. She uses it super occasionally and in such a loving way that it doesn’t bother me as much. It’s very context dependent with her since she’s so caring and affirming to me and usually uses girl, sis, beautiful, babe, etc. If someone I didn’t know used that with me, I’d probably understand it’s being used in a gender-neutral way, but it originates from ‘homeboy’, so it still carries that slight weight.

Soooo much appreciation for this 🩷 I think I’ll forever mentally twitch when people use dude, man, mate, bro, etc. towards me. I totally know it’s done in a gender neutral way, but I still feel a small pang in my heart.

Honestly so lucky that they had all those laser hair removal sessions a year before the world ended 🤭

Maybe 4… and by understand, I mean they have experienced my highs when I have something in my life to temporarily hyperfixate over that brings me so much joy - but also my incredible lows during burnout periods. They’ve been caught in my emotional storms and have continued to be there when I eventually even out (sometimes many months later). They understand I can be highly emotional and prone to crumbling under sadness and stress.

The other people in my life know I’m on the spectrum, but I don’t think they necessarily get it.

I would say the biggest difference I notice is communication. I tend to need full honesty and full commitment. I’m super incompatible with people who think small lies are better than uncomfortable and honest conversations or who make plans and don’t follow through with them.

Most likely trauma and previous friendships eroding. I’m on the spectrum and know that the world I experience is very different from most people. How I communicate, express myself, and just feel overall tends to come off as exaggerated… but for me, it’s what feels normal and is fully authentic. I reach out, communicate that I’m hurting, and could use support, but it’s almost always “I’ll try to make time.” I always ask to spend time doing things we do regularly - playing games online, chatting, shopping etc… but the moment I’m asking for that time to help me through something, it’s just not there anymore. I’ve lost a few friendships that I really valued when I was struggling like this - it’s hard to not feel like it’s a ‘me’ problem.

Friendship…I so struggle balancing my feelings of loneliness and desire for companionship. I look to my friends for support, but don’t want to be a burden or overwhelm them. I constantly think about how I can be the best friend I can for them and how I can support them while also being present for myself. I always end up neglecting my feelings, burning out, and sometimes even losing a friend as I crumble under my emotions. People are so hard sometimes 😢

I wish I had a good answer… most of my life, I was raised by a single parent. I love my mom, but she’s no doubt also on the spectrum, and she was incredibly overprotective and wasn’t the best at managing her emotions. After I turned 18 and started community college, I really pushed for my independence. She didn’t do too well with this and was constantly telling me I wasn’t allowed to leave without her permission and set an arbitrary curfew for me. I pushed back, she got super upset, changed the locks on me one day, and I was forced to live in my car (until I totalled it), friends’ floors, and eventually a small shelter specifically for people struggling with mental health issues. I really hated that shelter since it was rigid and I had no privacy… I learned independence to survive. I’m in my 30s, living in my own, and I feel I’ll always be playing catch up. I wasn’t taught how to handle different life obstacles well or how to navigate my intense emotions, especially when it came to friendships, relationships, and work-life.

We’re semi-fortunate to have the internet and access to large amounts of information. I leverage it constantly to help me figure out and understand how to solve problems in my life. Obviously, research is important and not acting impulsively (not the easiest). For your question, I think figuring out what specific things you’d like to plan or research would be helpful!

I moved to Affinity early this year, and it has been amazing!! I was expecting a long adjustment period after decades with Photoshop, but it’s so similar that I picked it up super quick!

Ahhh sooo cute!! I love how you decorated those spaces! And honestly yes 🤭 pastel pink and florals in every room. If it’s not pink (has to be the right shade too), I don’t buy it! Well, I also love a pastel purple, so I mix that in too 💜 I feel like embracing my aesthetic has also made shopping easier; I’m limited on options and don’t get so overwhelmed having to consider every color out there.

Pink, delicate, frilly

Himekaji and Ryousangata girl with plenty of Liz Lisa, Vina of the Valley, and DearMyLove. I just looove bows, lace, and super cute clothes!! 🩷🎀

Yes yes! Thank you! When I was looking into Fidelity’s target funds I found ones labeled as mutual funds that sound super similar to what you described. I looked through the different industries and put some money towards those! I also just read into the difference between the two and will definitely be researching some ETF to invest into.

So true… I’m super shy and introverted. My extroverted friends who essentially adopted me are the brightest parts of my life. They’ve allowed me to experience things I never would have and are incredibly patient and understanding when I need me time.

Omg thank you sooo much!! This is exactly the simple and straightforward investment I needed! I also found a few other funds/growth symbols that seemed easy to understand. I’d eventually like to educate myself more on this whole topic, but right now simple is all my brain can handle 🤭

Kind of a similar-ish question. I recently moved my 401k from an old employer to my personal account. All my money is now sitting uninvested. As much as I’d love to hire someone to look over my accounts, I can’t really justify that at the moment. In the most basic way possible, can anyone suggest specific indexes, stocks, whatever the terminology is that I should or could invest my money into?

Pleeease world 🙏

The only one I can guarantee is full-on actual yuri involving two girls exploring their feelings is Whisper Me a Love Song. I haven’t watched two of them, and the others ones I have watched might have super cute girl moments and some flirting, but I would not say they are yuri. I still think they are all worth watching, buuut just setting the right expectations.

I looove tret, but I do have to point out that the beginning is kind of tough! You will most likely go through a period where your skin will break out, be extra sensitive, and you’ll not like what you see every morning, buuut once that period is over - just super amazing skin!

When starting, I would recommend really simplifying your skincare - single cleanse, hydrating toner, tret at night/vitamin c in the morning, moisturize, sunscreen during the day. I would stop any physical exfoliating and pause any BHAs you’re using. Avoid applying near your mouth area as the skin will get super dry and flakey.

They also make two forms or tret - cream and gel. The cream is easier to spread and is more hydrating (in its own way), while the gel is great for more oily skin, but wow does it absorb super fast. You can also start with a low concentration while your skin adjusts.

Some people use a sandwich method to help with dryness and irritation - lightweight moisturizer, wait ~10 minutes, tret, wait another 10-20 minutes, heavier moisturizer.

I do understand your stance on this; the first rule does say women only… is it exclusive, oh definitely, but there are so many other communities that can support the same topics that are open to everyone. I think if the admins/mods of that community would like a space for women to talk to other women, we should just let them do their thing 🩷 I don’t think they are saying only women can like those things, but sometimes girls just want to have their own space (I’m one of those girls). Buut it’s a super new community, and they may rethink and adjust their rules!