First thing, a hard truth.

She is not, and never was, that in to you. She never considered you to be more than a casual friend, and never wanted more out of the relationship.

Second, she, almost certainly, has a difficult time finding reliable people to game with that don’t ultimately confess some unrequited affection for her. As a result, she will instinctively pull away from relationships she feels are heading in that direction.

Something I wish I had learned earlier, If you have to initiate every conversation, you can just stop. She’s moved on, you can too. You’ll be ok guy.

WE DRINK YOUR WATER, AND EAT YOUR TENDIES TOO

It’s so mind numbingly large that light, which would encircle the equator 7 times in a second, takes 8 fucking minutes to get to us from the sun. And 4 years to get to us from the nearest star.

If we shrunk down the universe so that the sun was about the size of a grain of sand, the nearest star would be 10,000 miles away and there would be nothing but emptiness between us. A few scattered atoms floating about, so rare and distant that hitting one would be less likely than winning the lottery twice in a row while being struck by lightning.

I always wonder if obsessively negative people ever feel joy. Or are they just wired to carry around rage boners all the time. If it isn’t exhausting I just can’t see how they can be happy

He was 🤏 this close to becoming a Catholic.

But he wasn’t. So he’s unlikely to be granted sainthood.

Trade school is usually pretty cheap. Most manufacturers will pay for you to go to school on top of that. I work with a lot of welders, none of them paid for their education, half of them don’t even have one.

Welders start at 55k a year. In our plant they cap out at 75. The guys who are good fuck off to an oil rig and make an ass load more and only work 6 months a year.

I only mention welding because you sound like you’d get along with welders.

Listen I’m not gonna tell you there’s a job out there that will absolutely make you happy. But my guy, you went from one of the most soul crushing environments imaginable straight in to another one.

These environments demand a lot of you, both mentally and physically. There are better places to be. Any chance you could get in to trade school?

Anglo Saxon, that’ll do just fine

ACKTSHUALLY THO the Irish potato famine was socialism actually. Because see the British were trying to save the Irish FROM socialism, so they HAD to take all the crops. Because, ummm, if they let the Irish keep the crops that they grew, WHICH WERE FOR THE BRITISH, then that was socialism.

Also the Irish did it to themselves they were just too lazy to work. The British were starving too. Because see the famine. And it started in Kansas. JUST LIKE THE SPANISH FLU. So anyway now we have a free and capitalism Ireland like baby Irish Jesus intended.

Glad to have cleared that up mate.

He’s actually the next space on my bingo card.

Timmy would go on to run for Congress on an anti killbot policy. He would lose to a bigoted blowhard who insisted on the right for all people to own killbots to make them pancakes.

This strongly worded letter is going to do it this time guys I swear

I mean the resemblance is uncanny

Um.

Me. That was me.

Sorry guys. I was making a transporter meme and ope, all Terrans.

Why so thorny?

I have been telling my wife since we got married that we will not be buying Samsung appliances. I’ll pay twice as much for anything else.

When we went to buy a new washer and dryer the sales guy really hyped up the wifi connectivity and all the extra features you get with a Samsung washer. The point that I will only ever be near my washer and dryer when I need to use it seemed to fly so far over his head her couldn’t see it with the naked eye.

At no point in the last 5 years with these appliances have either I, or my wife, even thought about the washer while we weren’t literally standing in front of it. Let alone needed it to have an Internet connection.

Writers: how do we tie up that thread without adding a permanent cast member?

One insane guy in the back: SPACE BABY

You have repeated propaganda spread by the Daughters of the Confederacy almost verbatim.

The Confederacy required a state to ratify slavery in it’s constitution to join. The secessionists more than once in the build up to the war said that their identity as states was inseparably tied to slavery.

There was an entire ethical ‘code’ in the South that required a gentlemen to beat with a stick any man that dared speak openly against slavery. This lead to a senator beating a man nearly to death on the Senate floor in 1856.

Slavery in this case specifically refers to the involuntary and permanent bondage of all black people. Having a single traceable ancestor of African origin anywhere in your family tree meant you were black.

The primary and only issue that lead to the civil war was the threat of talking slavery away. This is an indisputable fact. Arguing otherwise is like trying to argue the earth is flat, and camels can pass through sewing needles.

Is anybody feeling snacks? I’m feeling snacks man