• 3 Posts
  • 726 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: July 27th, 2023

help-circle

  • I don’t know why you’re conflating me with another person. You asked why people downvote without engaging with the argument. No one answered you. That includes Rhoeris. I took pity and gave you a detailed organised answer that was hopefully catered to ND comprehension styles, and you haven’t engaged with what I was saying. Since then all I’ve gotten from you is emotionally disregulated lashing out.

    That being said Rhoeris is also discussing circumstantial commonality with Nazis not actually calling the person a Nazi.

    If you don’t understand (or choose to ignore) the importance of context over content in NT human interactions you’ll always be confused about what people downvote/upvote/react to and why.











  • This is exactly it. Hurting things, destroying things, these are pleasurable behaviours. Look at how young children play, how we have to teach them to be gentle with animals until they can develop enough empathy to be trusted.

    Empathy is what counterbalances the pleasure of sadism. If you feel bad you hurt something, that’s a pain that is much greater than the pleasure a normal person gains from sadism.

    Some people, on purpose or by accident, have shitty empathy.



  • Quebec has a two tier healthcare system and “private system” doctors are not covered by the provincial healthcare scheme because they charge much higher rates than permitted. Because of this, they bill directly to rich clients, clients with good health insurance, or desperate clients who can’t wait for the broken public system.

    The solution is to pay doctors. Doctors in Quebec are paid much less than doctors in Ontario. This is despite the fact that healthcare costs in Quebec are higher than Ontario mostly due to a bloated bureaucracy that manages in.

    This law is the equivalent of passing a law that “life must be good in Quebec”. Instead of fixing the real problem, they try to force doctors to work for lower wages than their peers. The consequences will be that prospective doctors will simply pay slightly more for a medical degree in another province and quickly recoup the costs by working in another province, or working in the corrupt private system in Quebec.

    Typical assenine Quebec government solution, all bluster.


  • The idea of letting young engineers at a university design production equipment is WILD to me. Universities make PROTOTYPES. The gap between prototype and reliable production equipment is so big you could drive a bus through it.

    A good production engineer is worth their weight in gold but when you have shitty ones you’re better off letting the workers run the ship. At least they know what’s happening and where the hangups are. You’ll know a good engineer because they’re down talking to the lead hands on the shop floor because they want to understand what’s actually happening and run ideas through the shop before they fuck with things.


  • That’s quite fair and nuanced. I’m not 100% on what you said but I think your views are well supported.

    I think we differ in that you’re mentioning things that are likely to be successful in current society. Which is probably going to be the main factor in short term sexual relationships.

    I’m looking at it from the perspective of qualities of a good sexual partner which is going to be more important in long term relationships for most people.

    I think both views are important. I appreciate the discussion.


  • I understand that people in “casual” settings don’t generally understand kink, but the sub is the one with actual power in the dynamic and has to frame the encounter. Whereas most doms are pretty flexible in what tools is techniques they’re willing to engage in, it’s the sub’s boundaries that generally frame the encounter. Especially in “casual” scenes where it’s more likely that none of the sub’s asks are out of bounds for the dom.

    Kink is about exploring fetishes in a safe way that’s enjoyable to all participants. This type of “rough sex” often including breath play isn’t as casual as most participants believe. If you’re a sub and that’s your fetish then it’s best for everyone involved to get more serious about Safe Sane Consensual sex.

    It’s the same problem as 50 shades of grey where someone with a Dom/sub fetish engages in dangerously unsafe and non-consensual sex but it’s “sexy” coded in the movie. In real life the kind of guy that would break past all your boundaries and do perform violent sex acts whether you wanted it not is a violent, dangerous person. In an SSC setting, these encounters are negotiated ahead of time (and more subtly during the scene), openly and without an unbalanced power dynamic.




  • Hacksaw@lemmy.catoGreentext@sh.itjust.worksAnon has his way
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    10 days ago

    From personal experience in casual settings it’s femme/sub coded people that tend to oppose enthusiastic consent. The idea of “agreeing” to various acts doesn’t feel “subby” enough.

    I suspect the casual femme/sub role is mentally coded the same was bodice rippers/literary smut content is where a strong masc/dom appears and coercively satisfies all the femme/subs desires without real communication occurring freeing the femme/sub from the “shame” of accepting and expressing their femme/sub desires.

    I think it would be, to me, difficult for the concept of enthusiastic consent to come from just one side of the equation. Both partners have to find it sexy for it to be sexy. It needs to enter our sexual zeitgeist, likely through advocacy and proper sexual education.

    I have a hard time understanding how to people asking for what they want and expressing what they’d like to do could possibly be unsexy to anyone. Like I’m watching everyone get off and have their sexual needs validated and acted on. Non enthusiastic consent sex is SOMETIMES hot like the movies where two people are on the same wavelength and effortlessly act on eachothers desires. MOST of the time it’s awkward lack of communication leading to uncomfortable positions and the partners ESPECIALLY the femme/sub role having ALMOST what they want, getting CLOSE to amazing orgasm(s), but through lack of communication not really getting there, or settling for less.

    Ironically the people who most consistently have “sexy hot movie sex” without having to talk are people who have been having enthusiastic consent sex for a few weeks or months and are playing out a scene they both understand.

    Whew, thinking all this out is making me feel some kind of ways!