Sure, I’d be happy to summarise these documents for you.

The documents pertain to the assassination of New Orleans nightclub owner Jack Ruby by First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy on October 25th, 2065. It contains the as-of-yet unknown detail that Jackie Kennedy may be an alias of American communist and political assassin Lee Harvey Oswald.

case fatality rate— the percentage of cases that end in death

When the Butler, PA Trump assassination attempt happened, she shared a picture on instagram of herself topless with a gun captioned “Ethel Cain wouldn’t have missed”

CW alcohol mention, criticising my own food choices

hi Megathread! longtime no see

a trip to the local cornerstore freaked me out recently. on duty was a relative of the lad who is usually at the counter, the whole family being immigrants from Pakistan as is common in New England’s convenience shops. brief tangent, but while i’m glad the Pakistani community has found a place here in my little corner of the world, it has led to the dying out of an old New England slang term: we used to called cornerstores ‘packies’ (short for package shop) but for obvious reasons that’s now off the table.

anyways, i bring my beer and candy up to the counter like the slob that I am, and the clerk gives me a strange look— i’m a trans woman, so i’m used to people studying me to find out why there’s something so uncanny about this weird woman in front of them. but as i’m swiping my card, she asks me “not that it matters to me, but are you one of those people from (random address down the street)?” I don’t recognise the address so I answer in the negative. she tells me “okay, sure, i guess you aren’t. but i just want to make sure you know…people talk about that kind of thing. when they hear it happen in their neighborhood, i mean. people talk about what is going on there,” as she hits me with a look somewhere between suspicion and disapproval.

i grab my bag and say goodbye, eager to get away from this stranger’s judging eyes. i have absolutely no idea what she was talking about, but she clearly thought i was lying when i told her just as much. now i’m just thinking about it nonstop— my therapist would be annoyed with me for thinking so much about what a stranger thinks about me, but it’s…the mystery of it. not knowing what on earth this woman thinks i’m up to. i almost want to go back and ask her for more info, to set my mind at ease. assess the scale of the damage, yknow? its probably best for me to drop it, but i don’t like the idea of people in my community thinking i’m anything less than an upstanding citizen and a friendly neighbor.

anyways, we need a new cool slang term for cornerstores here in New England. something snappy to compete with NYC’s ‘bodegas’.

On today’s episode of “I thought I clicked on the news mega”… breast pain on the Ukrainian front!

I think calling it a US/Israeli coup makes it sound like a deliberate and well executed plan instead of the sloppy rapidly evolving shitshow it is.

to me, it seems like no one expected HTS to be so successful this past month or for the SAA to disintegrate like it did, and the ties between HTS and the west are mostly just forming now post-hoc. the US has prevented the SAA from launching an offensive into the Iblid pocket before, but that doesn’t require developing ties with HTS. the Idlib rebels/HTS are only in that area because of Bashar al-Assad’s rebel relocation policy in the late 2010s, so the West had no direct hand in creating it. and even up until this past month, that one instance of Trump threatening the SAA over Idlib was the closest way in which the West and HTS had ever worked together.

There is a ton of signaling from the victorious rebels that they seek to work together with the US and Israel now that they are behind the steering wheel. the reason they’re signaling so loudly isn’t because they’re just super duper excited to talk about their existing ties with the US and Israel, but because they want to secure their gains and win some legitimacy and friends in the world— they are desperate for Israel and the US to take them up on it, because otherwise they’re on their own up against the entire Iranian bloc.

tl;dr the rebels are being loudly pro israel not because they have existing ties, but precisely because they lack any ties to anyone and want to make it clear which ‘side’ they’re on in the region

For anyone unfamiliar with the leader of the Tiger Forces, Suheil al-Hasan is the most respected and successful general to survive the civil war (RIP Issam Zahreddin). He has a perfectly groomed beard that almost looks painted on because its so dark, and he surrounds himself with a Praetorian Guard of cute twinks who he is frequently pictured getting rather handsy with. A friend of mine once said that Suheil looks like the kind of guy who would be cast as the main character in a movie about his own life

Important context— Taganrog sits on the shore of the Sea of Azov, between Russian Azov and Ukraining Mariupol. this strike is closer to the (pre-war) Ukrainian border than the first one

remember folks, don’t wear your “I have a pipe bomb in my briefcase” tshirt to the airport, the TSA might think you’re too epic

the average Syrian doesn’t look at this situation through the eyes of a (presumably Western) poster on a bear geometry forum, they look at this through the eyes of the average Syrian. they’ve got desires and ideologies of their own, beyond ‘increasing Iranian power projection in West Asia’

Come on now, the Polish People’s Republic wasn’t as heavy-handed and violent towards critics as the Ba’athists were— what comes next isn’t exactly good, given that jihadis uninterested in Palestine have conquered Damascus, but a lot of Syrians are feeling good today. there is a moment of catharsis here that has been bought with a decade and a half’s worth of blood. people are gonna feel some typa way about it.

people on here get tunnel vision on Syria due to it being part of the Axis of Resistance, and in many cases due to not knowing the history of the conflict/country

there are reasons that so many people were willing to rise up against the Ba’athists over the past decade and a half, guys, and those reasons aren’t all foreign interference.

oh my god, the RAF Spirit Halloween is being abandoned? it’s so joever

there’s not gonna be any fighting for the Presidential Palace; Jolani will make a stern face, cross his arms, and then hold his hands out. Assad will give him the keys while staring at his own shoes

The humbled ophthalmologist shakily put his glasses back on his prematurely wrinkled face, shocked at the words he thinks he heard being hurled at him. Adjusting the volume on his hearing aid, he asked the strange men around him with trepidation, “Apologies gentlemen, I must have misheard…who must go…?”

and do the othah things nawt becawse they ah’reasy, bawt becawse they ah hahd

C.E.S. – Chinese Exclusion Sham

Joe Biden calls for adapting Neoliberalism to the context of modern America (he is getting more racist)

i worry that behind closed doors, leadership of NATO and the Russian Federation have each already concluded that the other has committed to war, and so they have to do the same.

weird that you’re questioning their motivations/dedication. what does that accomplish and what point are you trying to make?