tyz :)x

I posted every day during rehab, about every drama and difficulty, jeez they’re hard to read back through but it’s valuable, never want to be back there. but thanks v m, good to see u every day :)

I think I been avoiding aa cause I don’t want to talk about alcohol. not to sound cocky but that problems been removed. one of the mtgs is just dry drunk group therapy, I try carry the msg not the mess, cause when I was a newcomer I didn’t give a shit about your dogs or your kids, I wanted to know how you manage to stay sober. putting trust in a higher power, fearless moral inventory and humbly asking all defects of character to be removed was all I had to do, incredibly challenging, ultimately rewarding. ive still got amends but I’ve stopped I need to be careful of buying peace of mind at the expense of others. I’ll go back to mtgs so I stop writing novels in here, love you all tc

yeah same. I thought it was just anguish and turmoil. like having 200 tabs open in your head

psyche is certain I have ADHD, if I can pee and bleed clean we’ll trial stimulants, probably dexamphetamines. never did much for me except the most revolting hangover ever. so basically 3 months, clean and sober, no weed, hopefully this is the missing piece of me pizza

w00t, yes I just gotta pick up this heavy ass phone before I drink, not after. I punch aa into my phone and 40 something names come up. I can have a headphone in listening to a meeting all day, but hopefully the psychiatrist today can a some q’s

2months. haven’t thought of drinking but really engaged in other addictive behaviours, coffee weed gaming&movies, sensory overload. gotta get to work but can’t lie I’m a lil nervous about being around half a million litres of wine in tank barrel and bottle, the tanks are the ones that worry me, easy to get away with nobody will know… I’ll know, and I’ll tell you guys all about it if it happens.

delirious from sleep deprivation. ain’t all sunshine n roses, 58, iamsober says 2mo tomorrow

I’ve moved away from aa. I don’t feel good about it, they said don’t leave before the miracle happens, and it happened so I can now leave. which isn’t the right attitude I want to chip in and give back what was so freely given to me but it’s like I’m allergic to humans now, worse than before. 57.

if I control it I can’t enjoy it, if I enjoy it I can’t control it

cool to see all of lemmy support our new friend. first week is tough but ideally you only have to go through it once

took a wee mental holiday, didnt drink day 55. officially the longest I’ve ever not drank. watched one flew over the cuckoo’s nest 1st time this morning, couple things 1) psyche wards havent changed in 50 years, zero progress. 2) ive fixed my drinking problem. murph brings in 2 girls and 2 shopping bags full of booze. ive been watching this film through the eyes of danny devito, another patient locked in, and my program is so strong that even locked in a ward with meds for the hangover, I would not drink. I’ve done enough research, I know that shit will mean the end of my life. love you guys thanks for checking in on me when I wasn’t checking in 🖤

congrats keep it up :)

52🚣

yep that’s so true. or come back with way worse stuff than I was apologizing for that I have no memory of. challenging step, difficult to navigate.

51 just gone full stop on the amends, feel like I’m going around injuring people by even asking. a lot of these ppl hate me. just got so caught up in the steps and progress I was inadvertently trying to buy my peace of mind at the expense of others.

big 50, got to see 4 raaf stunt pilots flying in formation, loops n rolls seeing them rip through the air, the overwhelming sound, probably would have yelled at them if I was hungover.

<3 highscore is 55 lfg

49, iwndwyt 🏂

48. enjoyed a big book study meeting on chapt more about alcoholism. makes sure we understand the physical allergy and mental obsession. but it was the plain language edition, I want a copy of the first edition. vocabulary nerd, love learning new/old words