I was in Spain a few years ago, and decided against certain mementos for this reason. Sorry, it may not be KKK, but I won’t display a whirling log in my house for similar reasons…

The first hit is always free.

I’ve stolen so many fonts…

Dick Bupkis

When I was in elementary school, we came home from shopping and discovered someone had pried off the lock and stolen my bike. I was inconsolable. About an hour later I spotted a kid from my class riding my bike, and managed to recover it.

I looked that guy up a few years ago. Found him on the sex offender registry.

In high school, one of my classmates shot and killed his sister’s friend while cleaning a .22 rifle. There was a trial, but I don’t remember the verdict. As a minor, it might have been sealed. He disappeared for about a year. When he came back, he was completely withdrawn and…changed.

I looked that guy up a few years ago. Found him on the sex offender registry.

There was a guy at my high school that was just an absolute jackass. One of those guys that you know is never going to amount to anything, and will probably be in prison shortly after graduation. He disappeared my junior year, I thought he had moved.

I looked that guy up a few years ago. Actually, he had broken into someone’s house (a burglary) and beat the shit out of the homeowner when he was discovered. But he’d also been held back in school a couple times, so he was 18 when he did it. When I looked him up, he had just been released from prison.

Anyone surprised by this, please raise your right arm up at an angle, palm facing forward.

This isn’t liminal, just unfurnished. And nighttime.

Instead of having some form of verifiable indication, people are just supposed to “think hard”? Have you looked around lately?

The problem only gets worse with AI creeping closer.

What? I prefer knowing if someone I interact with is genuine. As opposed to Twitter, where I just know they have a recurring monthly payment.

I don’t know…seems like an impossible task.

Do I have to do it tonight, or can there be a ‘waiting period’? (I have nothing to wear…)

A couple weeks before the inauguration, I listened to the President/CEO of the company I work at go on an absolute rant about how Trump was going to get rid of all Biden’s DEI hires, about how the Navy Chief was a woman and she would be fired, about how the fastest running time for a woman was slower than the slowest running time for a man(???), and some other, racist stuff.

I lost my train of thought…what happened?

According to this administration, the correct term is ‘cosmonaut’.

Are you saying we all need to install a continually rotating VPN when we’re surfing the internet? As chaff?

Here boy, here boy, drop the eggs…good boy, drop the eggs…

Two men in a boat is already pretty hot for some people.

Yeah, and when you burn that fuel it gets hotter, and that makes it a little lighter too.

Don’t forget to account for all the helium leaking out of balloons. That’s part of the reason the earth gets lighter too.

“Dick Wolf”

Rude, time-traveling Americans.