Then you get into the actual military. It’s a bunch of high school kids with responsibility. Good leaders? Rare. Those higher end crazy weird assignments, like SG would have been? Those breed the worst because they usually attract the worst.
“Here, Lippyballscacker will train you on this.”
Wait, Lippyballsacker? Wtf?
“Yeah, his supervisor was hanging in the building and remembered he had to pick him up at the last minute from the airport. One guy asked him what the new guy’s name was. “I don’t know, Lippyballsacker or something.” That name stuck.” - actual story from my time in aircraft maintenance
When they guy left, he was gloating the name wouldn’t follow him. One of the maintenance supervisors had contacts at the new base. The name followed him.
We also had a fuck up who was good at taking tests, so he made rank fast, but was an absolute moron. Didn’t realize he had to put his manual truck in gear or set the brake. Always had to repeat lefty loosey every time…out loud. Walked right through an antenna on the bottom of the plane. Didn’t skip a step.
They show the military way too organized and disciplined. No. Bunch of blind leading the blind.
I’d bet abuse in his past. Not that it’s an excuse, but it’s so much easier to follow the path you know. I grew up in it and decided to break the cycle. I only learned much later that my step father was abused as well. My sister hasn’t dealt with it. She’s always angry. She’s always yelling. She’ll argue instead of deescalate. I did it at first, but I realized I was perpetuating exactly what I didn’t want to. I was making myself depressed and physically sick for days after an argument. Luckily, I realized it pretty quickly.
Abuse and trauma are a blanket in a war zone. The war zone (the world around you) is chaotic and unpredictable. Abuse and trauma is familiar. You know it. You know it isn’t safe, but you know what to expect. So you stick with it. Leaving that is hard. You have to leave the warm blanket behind. Trudge through the unknown chaos of that war zone, and find your way out. You want to go back to that blanket. To the predictable. The path out isn’t even totally for you, and you know it. It’s for the next generation.
I feel bad for his kids. They’re not going to get any type of mental health care until they’re adults. I’d bet that “therapy is for pussys” and “Only women cry” is his household motto.
My son’s girlfriend is in the same predicament. Her step father is military. Her mom is a detective. Her step is the abuser. Her mom lets it happen. She’s 18 and graduates this year. Yet they read every social media message. They track her on her phone through an app. They yelled at her to get a job, or she couldn’t play softball. They read all of her bank statements and grill her on what she spends of her own money. Then, he turned around a month later and said she needs to spend her time off filling out scholarships. She’s their full time babysitter to her sisters, who are treated well by step father because they’re his own legit kids.
My son is so frustrated because he doesn’t know how to help. I’ve been helping coach him on how best to help and be there for her. I do what I can to communicate that she’s a good person. They can’t read IG photos so I’m constantly sending funny faces back and forth with her. She’ll come here with him for lunch as well and I’ll give her a hug when I sense she needs it.
We’ve offered up our home if she wants to move out. She won’t, and I understand it, she’s stuck a bit, but it’s there. They’re moving after she graduates. She said she’s not going to visit them on holidays. She’s welcome here. I’d bet they’ll wonder why she doesn’t visit. People like that never understand why. She’s going to have to get her own car ASAP too. They’re using that as leverage over her. I told her we’d help as much as we can. Even if it means we co sign.
I see this behavior in the military a lot, and I think it’s because it attracts people that don’t see a way out. Even if they think it is for altruistic reasons as a kid, the root cause is just wanting out of the home. Out of that situation. It isn’t until years later that they truly, hopefully, realize why they went in. Many won’t though.