Nah, I’m mad I got sold a “space adventure” and ended up in a game where scanning rocks was a core mechanic. You can keep your glorified geology simulator.

Ah yes, “You didn’t like it because you didn’t try hard enough.” Classic cope. I played it for 30 hours. I tried. It just never stopped sucking.

I did. That’s why I’m not pretending Starfield is some revolutionary space epic when it’s actually a glorified IKEA trip with jet boots.

And you’re the kind of player who’d defend a Bethesda game if it came with a literal spreadsheet instead of a UI. “But the spreadsheet immerses you, bro!”

You mean glowing loading screens? Yeah, nothing screams immersion like a black screen every time I try to pick up a rock.

Missed the point? Pretty sure the point was “look at these pretty stars while you collect copper for the 87th time.” Spoiler alert: I got it. It just sucked.

Right, because “real” RPGs involve 40 hours of walking between menu screens and pretending you’re a galactic UPS driver. Super deep stuff.

Oh, I didn’t realize “toddlers” liked vibrant color and engaging exploration. Should’ve known gray menus and emotionless NPCs were for mature adults only.

Touchy much? All I said was the game feels empty and dry. Which it does. Maybe Bethesda should’ve hired someone with a personality to write the dialogue.

You’re seriously gonna bash ‘Ocarina of Time’? That game is a masterpiece, a timeless classic! Your brain must be made of shit if you can’t appreciate the revolutionary mechanics and emotional depth it brought to gaming. Seriously, get some taste

T

That has never been true

Are you out of your damn mind, Kevin? Pong? It’s literally two lines and a dot. I’ve seen more exciting paint dry!

Says the amateur

All of em. Fight me

!vga@hilariouschaos.com