Archangel

I once opened my apartment door too fast because I was running late for work, and scared a crow that was sitting on the railing in front of my unit. That fucker never forgave me. He’d dive-bomb me every time he saw me walking to or from my car.

Crows hold epic grudges.

Well, sure…we’ve always known that. It’ll still never happen, though.

“What! It’s not like I get to keep it. Oh, wait.”

…Always remember your enemies.

Attack them relentlessly, whenever they appear.

This sounds very familiar. Who knew the EU and the Trump administration would be so closely aligned on immigration policy?

Naah. I’ll pass.

I murder them all one by one, absorbing their life force into my own, becoming stronger with every kill.

And yet they’re still claiming they aren’t targeting civilians. What a strange coincidence, then?

…in exchange for a new Trump hotel.

It won’t matter. Trump will do whatever he wants, and Schumer will just start approving his nominees again.

Anything you do for entertainment, that you don’t get paid for…is a hobby. You don’t have to be good at it. It doesn’t even need to be a skilled task.

Let’s see if we can’t keep the trend going.

Except that’s literally what it’s based on.

But the Libs keep telling me Biden fixed the economy.

It only counts if they gave him an itemized receipt, with the word “bribe” at the top, followed by two columns…one labeled “quid” and the other labeled “quo”. And it needs to be notarized.

I think blaming all their problems all on Biden would be redundant.

You know how all those apocalypse movies start with some idiot in charge, making the worst possible decisions…and everyone in the audience is watching them and thinking, “This is such bullshit. No one would ever be this stupid. Even an idiot would know better.”

Well. Here we are.

That trickle down economics actually works.

He blamed schools for shortchanging civics education and leaving students with little understanding of the structure of U.S. government or the role of the courts.

Uh, ok. That’s how we got here, is it? Gotcha.

They cry because people keep calling them “Dik diks”.