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can@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

Scientists Train Full-Grown Man To Ask For Help When Needed

www.theonion.com

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  • theonion@midwest.social
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Scientists Train Full-Grown Man To Ask For Help When Needed

www.theonion.com

can@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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  • theonion@midwest.social
STANFORD, CA—In a cutting-edge breakthrough for their field, psychologists at Stanford University confirmed Thursday they had trained a full-grown man to ask for help when he needed it. “After years of rigorous experimentation, we believe the test subject, whom we have named Buster, is finally capable of requesting…
  • TigrisMorte@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    When will they train People to actually help as opposed to simply advising platitudes?

    • metaStatic@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Just man up

      • TigrisMorte@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Walk it off.

        • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Removed by mod

    • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Kek

      • tygerprints@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Or, just squeeze them hard enough to squirt the juice into life’s eyes and say, “next time I want cold hard CASH DAMMIT!” Or just take some prozac with a slice of lemon.

      • TigrisMorte@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        https://youtu.be/ELkgiJD9KuM?si=Grh0PgpBJ2G6u-0y

      • insomniac_lemon@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Hydraulic press time?

        • tygerprints@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          That’s good for if you happen to get into your atomic discombobulator when a fly is in there and you come out being half a man with a fly’s head. I hate when that happens - back to the hyudraulic press again!!

    • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You just gotta keep your eyes on the prize.

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      deleted by creator

    • tygerprints@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      It’s true that people need more than just nice-sounding phrases to help them. When you’re down and out or feeling suicidal, saying “don’t be that way, life is good” isn’t going to help anybody. Sometime just being there to listen instead of giving advice is the most helpful thing.

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