John Malkovich’s voice and spectacular cadence in your head:
- “It is estimated that Santa’s sleigh weighs 353 thousand tons. So, traveling at 650 miles per second would create such enormous friction that Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames. You understand? Like a meteor entering the atmosphere. This is a scientific fact.”
I know this is supposed to be a shitpost, but what does weight/mass have to do with friction tho?? Also no even thaaat fast, so probably no flames but enough friction to tear their skin off.
Also meteors don’t burn up due to friction. They burn up due to the heat generated by compressing the atmosphere stuck in front of them.
Santa’s Sleigh uses Warp Drive technology to form a space-time bubble around the sleigh and the reindeer.
Santa can see you when you sleep, knows when you’re awake, and visits every believer’s house at the same time. He’s not scientific. Santa is an egregorian God, created from nothing by the belief of his believers. Santa Clause is a vast, Eldridge being, set upon the earth to reward the kind and punish the selfish. Santa is everywhere. Santa is everything.
So be good, for goodness sake.
TIL!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egregore
Egregore (also spelled egregor; from French égrégore, from Ancient Greek ἐγρήγορος, egrēgoros ‘wakeful’) is an esoteric concept representing a non-physical entity that arises from the collective thoughts of a distinct group of people.
My kink is John Malkovich stating detailed facts that crush my dreams.
New kink unlocked
I hear him talking in a bad dialect of a russian crime boss talking about poker, sorry, every time I see him I have to think about this debacle.
FUCK YOUR SCIENCE, ITS MAGIC
Any sufficiently advanced science would appear like magic. ;)
If anyone wants to know more about the math, I think this refers to https://www2.nau.edu/lrm22/lessons/scientific_method/santa.html
Santa & his coterie are quantum so it doesn’t matter what you think his velocity is
Unless you don’t know his position
You can’t know his position. If you were to observe Santa then the quantum superposition waveform would collapse and only one house would get presents.
Saw this a couple of days ago and is my new head canon.
Therefore Santa and his reindeer must be fireproof! I understand.
This is why fires in fireplaces pose no threat.
The more you learn about Father Christmas the more you realise he’s an eldritch creature of phenomenal power. The fact that we can appease an Old God capable of destroying us in an instant with a simple offering of Sherry and a Mince Pie is nothing short of a miracle.
Santa’s sled has ablative shielding.
Funny, but most heat of reentry is caused by generated plasma as opposed to air resistance (though that is also a component). There is an excellent Scott Manley video about this topic
Yea but who puts my presents under the tree? Checkmate liberal
