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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/mazer225 on 2023-11-28 20:16:45.

I’m sorry if this isn’t the place to vent, but I am super frustrated at the way the church has manipulated and brainwashed my family. I am the youngest out of six kids in my family and am in my early 30’s. Three of my siblings are exmo’s and have been trying to regain trust and rebuild relationships within our family. My parents have become so indoctrinated at their age (they are 70), that they have found it impossible to treat us exmo’s with respect. There are a ton of problems in their home. My TBM brother and his wife live with them and have four kids. They have a mountain of medical debt and need to declare bankruptcy. Unfortunately, my parents have let them live with them for several years now, due to the debt; but will not allow them to declare bankruptcy due to paying tithing instead. My parents insist that if they pay tithing, their debt will somehow miraculously go away on its own. They also keep encouraging them to have kids, while they can barely support themselves financially. My mom is super against birth control and pushes them to not use it.

On top of this, I have a mentally disabled sister in her early 40’s living with them. Recently this week, we found our she has liver failure and a ton of physical health problems. My parents have loosely allowed her to eat whatever she wants for several years, keeping quiet so they can keep her going to church. She has become dangerously obese and is part of the reason her organs are failing. Her mentality is that of a 14 year old (she was born premature). I’m so angry that they allowed this to happen to her and that they failed to care for her properly. They served a two year temple mission and completely forgot about her and left her to take care of herself; while they did cult shit. Apparently they also got their second anointing, from what I was told. It also explains why they think they can say or do whatever they want to us exmo’s (they think they’ve made it).

I’m also gay married (been out for several years now) and told them about it. I did not invite them to the wedding and my husband still has not met them. My mother was incredibly racist, sexist and homophobic growing up. Recently my mom has started sending letters in the mail and small gifts, which I think is nice; but she still hasn’t apologized for the things she said growing up. Its as if she has forgotten about it and is trying to just move on as if nothing ever happened. My husband thinks she is nice, but I told him this is how she becomes manipulative. She will be nice and inviting, and then turn her back on you, once you have regained her trust - she is toxic.

Every time I have spoken to them, it is a very superficial conversation. They don’t care about the ongoing problems and act as if religion will solve their problems.

At this point, I’m honestly thinking about giving up on them completely and just moving on. I’m more angry at the church for manipulating them into their behavior and actions. I hoped that my family would’ve became closer to one another as we got older, but it has honestly just polarized itself apart. My exmo siblings and I are close, but the TBM family is IMPOSSIBLE.

tl;dr

My family is fucking dysfunctional due to the church