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CantaloupeLifestyle@lemmy.world to politics @lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago

Who Said It: Mike Johnson or Ned Flanders?

newrepublic.com

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Who Said It: Mike Johnson or Ned Flanders?

newrepublic.com

CantaloupeLifestyle@lemmy.world to politics @lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago
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They’re both boring. They’re both pious. They both have glasses. Can you tell them apart?
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  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Can you tell them apart?

    Yes I can. Without reading the article. Ned Flanders is a good, kind, generous person despite his weird religious beliefs. Mike Johnson is none of those things.

    • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      “My wife spent the last few weeks on her knees in prayer to the lord, and, uh, she’s a little worn out.”

      -Actually Mike Johnson, somehow.

      • Boddhisatva@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Okay, I cannot help but think that ‘the lord’ is their name for his dick.

        • Tujio@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          It’s like Joel Dongsteen

      • ares35@kbin.social
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        2 years ago

        odds on it wasn’t praying that wore her out?

        • Telorand@reddthat.com
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          2 years ago

          99% chance it was praying. Fundies are weird about sex for pleasure and anything that isn’t missionary.

          • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Outwardly. Behind closed doors they are some of the most fucked up people that exist.

      • mrichey@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        The only one I got wrong.

  • arthurpizza@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    This was pretty easy because Ned is not an asshole.

  • PugJesus@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    “[My wife] spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.”

    Only one I missed.

    • HikingVet@lemmy.ca
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      2 years ago

      Maude Flanders had amazing endurance for praying to the lord. You insult her memory by insinuating that she would get tired.

      • Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world
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        You insult her memory

        Maude passed?! What happened?! Damn. This is terrible news.

        • HikingVet@lemmy.ca
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          2 years ago

          I’m sorry you had to find out like this

          • Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world
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            2 years ago

            NOOO!!! NOOOooooo…

            • JWBananas@startrek.website
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              1 year ago

              But wait, there’s more!

        • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Shirt cannon

    • PeepinGoodArgs@reddthat.com
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      deleted by creator

    • downhomechunk@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      Me too. Stupid sexy flanders.

    • ssboomman@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Same here

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 years ago

      Less time on your back, more time on your knees is the only one I missed! I know my sweet Neddy.

  • Telorand@reddthat.com
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    2 years ago

    The Ark Encounter is one way to bring people to this recognition of the truth, that what we read in the Bible are actual historical events.

    Ah, yes. The ark museum that required modern structural engineering techniques and materials, teams of construction crews and not just a family of eight, and active ventilation to continually remove the toxic levels of methane that wood naturally produces.

    Such a factually true account of history.

    • neptune@dmv.social
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      If you remove all the ungodly building codes and laws and regulations, you can make a museum that looks like a boat, with bronze aged tools!

  • AmbroisindeMontaigu@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    100%. If it seems too innocent or self-aware it’s Flanders.

  • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one
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    “Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.” and “[My wife] spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.” I got wrong.

    One sounds like a classic Simpsons joke and the other sounds like a condescending asshole.

    • Serinus@lemmy.world
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      I’m sure the “on your back” was a totally different context.

      • perviouslyiner@lemm.ee
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        deleted by creator

  • xc2215x@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Ned Flanders is a lot more well meaning.

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    TIL sexy homosexual “barbarians” ransacked Rome, left no man’s purse untouched

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