I’m definitely NOT MAD 😡 that I wasn’t part of the US normal people delegation to meet Xi.
Imagining a bunch of hexbears having dinner with Xi and just saying the most unhinged shit.
XI: Invo_RT, please tell me about the infrastructure in your city.
ME: [Uncontrollable Trump impression] Not good! Very bad! But I’ll keep using that garbage. [Standing up aggressively] Please President Xi, send Chengdu J-20 multirole stealth aircraft. My people yearn for freedom. [Now on top of the table] Unlimited genocide on the first world!
it’s a normal people delegation we specifically aren’t invited
sitting next to xi showing him traa memes while laughing awkwardly
His aide leans down: “This is a sign of great respect in their culture”
They get in a fight with Xi when he won’t denounce stone cairnists
For his entertainment, we perform one of our customary after-dinner actives: vegan struggle session. We allow him to lock the thread at his leisure, and even present him with an outdoor and indoor cat to show our unity. He thanks us and gives us dating advice and 20 rifles
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Convince Xi of Posadism
"So, you see, when we argue with liberal chauvinists online, we provide a link which appears to be information to back up our arguments, but in fact it is a picture of a pig’s huge balls with a big piece of poop on top, lol!
“Fascinating”
You’re probably joking, but in the article it states that these people showed Xi around Iowa like 40 years ago when he was part of some farming committee. They left such a good impression on him that apparently they’ve stayed in touch. It’s really sweet honestly. In the article he says something like “to me, these people are america”
“Xi, respectfully, these people are big agriculture magnates, so you are correct that they are America; however, I think your positive reaction to that fact is a bit concerning”
“I have 20 comrades ready to form a cadre, here’s the coordinates for you to airdrop us guns and 1000 copies do Maos Red Book!”
“Wha… I’m just here to have dinner.”
He’s running
I’ll write him in on my ballot in 2024
well he has proved he can do the job.
In 1985, Gary Dvorchak’s parents gave Xi his bedroom, decorated with Star Trek items, in their Muscatine home. Dvorchak and his sister Paula, who talked to the future Chinese leader about American movies, are on next week’s guest list.
virgin minion guest room vs 
chad Star Trek guest roomI can’t imagine hosting a politician and having them look at my anime posters and percy jackson books in my childhood room.
Must feel weird for Iowans to meet a politician who isn’t pandering for their vote.
Also who cares about poor people
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in Muscatine Iowa?
Even more likely this is their first encounter then
Imagine Joe Biden meeting with everyday Chinese people, lol no he wouldn’t.
Imagine him meeting with everyday American people who he nominally likes more
Listen, fat
Inshallah…corn pop
Whywhywhywhywhy
you’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier
I don’t know if I’d say he wouldn’t, the man does really likes sniffing hair
Sniffs Chinese child’s hair
”Mmm, such exotic aromas”
Now yes, but like 30 years ago he probably would have done ok. Brandon was always a backslapper kind of guy who had personal charisma just attached to neoliberal sociopathy.
Xi’s warm and enduring bond with the Midwesterners he first encountered nearly four decades ago stands in contrast with the suspicions and acrimony that have characterized relations between the two largest economies over the last few years.
It’s funny when they talk about this like the “suspicion and acrimony” has just spontaneously generated as a byproduct of these two economies existing.
that aside, this seems genuinely sweet all round and i hope everyone has a nice time
Regular people want belt and road and infrastructure and high speed rail and health care and affordable housing. Please Xi
Gorbachev did stuff like this too. My dad worked in Dupont circle in DC in the late 80s and once the Russian motorcade was driving by as he was walking home from work. They suddenly stopped and there wasnt anyone else nearby so he started getting worried but then a car door opens and Gorbachev gets out with a big smile and just talks to him for like 5 minutes about life and sports and normal small talk things. Said he liked to get to know regular citizens. Then he got back in his imported car and just drove off
Fanfic of your dad inviting Gorbachev out for a quick American bite and introducing him to Pizza Hut.
OP’s dad caused the collapse of the USSR.
Plot twist: it’s a time traveler, and they shoot Gorby in 1988.
Come on Xi, Alaskans count as honorary midwesterners! Please invite me!
maybe Xi will need to stop in Anchorage on his way home
Xi and his wife, Peng Liyuan — a famous Chinese folk singer in her own right — threw a banquet for them. “She said, ‘Well, I just had to meet the people from Iowa,’” Lande recalled. “By the way, she is a lovely, beautiful lady. Her last remark was, ‘If we ever retire, I’m going to gather my daughter and we’re coming to Muscatine.’”
Okay laying it on a bit too thick here nobody is dying to move to Muscatine lol
What better place is there to start a protracted people’s war in Amerikkka
Count me in, on the good side
He’s trying to tell us something…trust the plan
By “my daughter” she means “a millions strong PLA liberation force.”
we will never understand the insidious chinese mind and their propensity for humanity
he needs to know if the nuke barrage can be a limited strike or should be full spread
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I want to go to dinner with the president of the free world!
No, the real president of the free world
spoiler
No, I said the real president of the free world!
A rare W for Iowa. Maybe there’s hope for the world.
This is incredibly sweet, and such a stark contrast to major American politicians who would loudly set up an artificial version of this purely during campaign season before unceremoniously forgetting everyone they met.
