SDF Chatter
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Risa@startrek.websiteEnglish ·
edit-2
2 years ago

This may be the dumbest thing I've made yet. Sorry, Risa.

startrek.website

message-square
43
fedilink
456

This may be the dumbest thing I've made yet. Sorry, Risa.

startrek.website

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Risa@startrek.websiteEnglish ·
edit-2
2 years ago
message-square
43
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • Seraph@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    35
    ·
    2 years ago

    John Deere™ Tractor Beam

    No you can’t repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.

    • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      2 years ago

      When they’re broken, it’s easier to just fire them out as projectiles.

      • NegativeNull@lemm.ee@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        2 years ago

        Eject the Warp Core Tractor Beam -Shaxs

    • teft@startrek.website
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      2 years ago

      And there is only one repair shop per quadrant.

    • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      2 years ago

      Nothing beams like a Deere

  • Bappity@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    data turns around
    “captain, did I execute humour successfully?”

    • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      26
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      (I almost chose this pic for the last frame instead, but I loved Picard’s dumbfounded face too much)

      • Bappity@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        Captain’s Log. Stardate 23170.6
        I have growing concerns about commander data’s new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.

        Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge’s beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.

        Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.

        Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.

        In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.

        Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.

      • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 years ago

        I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.

        • Thisfox@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          2 years ago

          He looks more like he is trying to puzzle out a confusing problem in his head.

      • The_Riker_Maneuver@startrek.website
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        2 years ago

        My stance is better in this one. More dynamic.

        • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          2 years ago

          Indeed, number one.

        • verity_kindle@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 years ago

          The closer your pelvis is to someone’s face, the more leadership they get. That’s what they taught at the Academy and that’s good enough for my pelvis.

    • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 years ago

      I believe you mean "successfully, you lunkhead "

      • Bappity@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        2 years ago

  • MajorHavoc@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    25
    ·
    2 years ago

    It’s perfect!

    I’ve wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard “engage the tractor beam”.

    Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn’t progressed that much since then anyway.

    • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      21
      ·
      2 years ago

      I finally got your letter in the mail. It just took forever for the post office to discern your 5 y/o handwriting.

  • teft@startrek.website
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    2 years ago

    This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.

    • ArcaneGadget@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 years ago

      Would feel right at home in Spaceballs. Has similar energy to “jamming the radar”.

  • Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    2 years ago

    It took me a good minute. Got a real good laugh!!

  • undeffeined@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    2 years ago

    Ahahhahahaa this is so silly, I love it

    • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      2 years ago

      This is beautiful … this is what Risa is all about

  • Blackout@startrek.website
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    2 years ago

    This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.

    • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      2 years ago

      And don’t get me started on voice commands.

      • marcos@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        2 years ago

        Well, loud-voice-only password entry is probably the best invention on all of those series.

  • NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    2 years ago

    deleted by creator

    • agent_flounder@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      2 years ago

      Indeed.

  • stardust@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    2 years ago

    Is beautiful! You scratched an itch I didn’t even know I had.

  • Lydia_K@startrek.website
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    2 years ago

    I love it!

  • CADmonkey@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    “Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota B5100 setting”

  • milkisklim@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 years ago

    Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.

    When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process “getting a green card” on account of the new ID badge’s color.

  • StillPaisleyCat@startrek.website
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    2 years ago

    Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?

    Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.

    • verity_kindle@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      2 years ago

      Yea boi

  • Wizarded@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    2 years ago

    Technically correct

  • interolivary@beehaw.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    2 years ago

    I said “argh” out loud, which means this is is perfect

    • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websiteOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 years ago

      I live for groans.

      • interolivary@beehaw.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        2 years ago

        I wholeheartedly support this goal

Risa@startrek.website

risa@startrek.website

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !risa@startrek.website

Star Trek memes and shitposts

Come on’n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don’t break the weather control network.

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 102 users / day
  • 266 users / week
  • 808 users / month
  • 2.08K users / 6 months
  • 101 local subscribers
  • 7.23K subscribers
  • 2.59K Posts
  • 35K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • USSBurritoTruck@startrek.website
  • BE: 0.19.8
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org