• Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    Am I the only one here who’s had relatively okayish experiences with dating apps. Im not exactly a soviet-chad either.

    the most toxic relationship in my life was with someone I meet through college so idk if traditional dating is really what everyone makes it out to be.

    • LaughingLion [any, any]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      im older and have been in a committed relationship for over 15 years so im not an authority here or anything but every relationship ive ever had came from a friendship first

      i think people are starting to understand that love isnt always some magic “struck by lightning” thing but rather something that blooms from healthy relationships with all kinds of people

      if you are sociable and chill you can befriend people and sometimes one of those friendships just levels up, or they set you up with someone because you are cool, or you do that for them this is how it has been done in so many cultures for all of human history if it aint broke dont fix it

        • LaughingLion [any, any]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          its all the friendzone until its not

          i was in a longterm relationship that started as a friendship, i confessed my feelings and got “friendzoned” i guess, but then i just chilled and stayed friends and didnt obsess or follow around the person like a pathetic puppy dog and continued to make more friends

          eventually she grew feelings for me and we had an awesome young relationship that lasted for years we both lost our v-cards to each other and i wouldnt trade it despite it ending bitterly (long story)

          either way, if she never developed feelings for me that would have been okay, too. we were friends. i wasn’t just hanging around to fuck her.

    • Othello [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      ive had positive experience with dating apps! it was a fun and easy way to flirt and meet people and im grateful for the experience. i learned a lot about myself and im better off for it.

      • Yurt_Owl@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        Dating sites were actually pretty decent before tinder set ablaze to them all. I had a lot of success when i could just message anyone on the site and the second it became tinder it just stopped working.

          • hexaflexagonbear [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            2 years ago

            I imagine the scope of it makes things worse as well. Like when there are only a few compatible people in your area you’d just go fuck it and go on a few dates. When there are hundreds of dating “resumes” to sift through there’s probably all sorts of emergent behaviour that’s tough to account for. Hell, just the genetal idea of it gives me anxiety.

              • hexaflexagonbear [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                2 years ago

                The ones trying to do more traditional compatibility dating still have that aspect and it feels even more insane. There’s one that targets more careerist types and I have a feeling everyone on there is just Patrick Bateman.