🙄 It’s not a given! Plenty of people have another job, do passion projects, volunteer, assist family, attend schooling, etc. None of that is “free” time! You aren’t automatically noble or harder-working if you choose to spend your time parenting…
The more time I have the more I fill it up…tons of projects and hobbies and events and traveling.
The issue I think is non-creative people get bored and go welp, I’m old, better have a kid cuz thats “what you do”. Then they bitch about it for 18 years how hard it is 🙄
I’m basically never bored. Theres an unlimited amount of things to do in this world.
The problem is that we have so many bored adults who keep on willingly falling for the capitalist propaganda that ‘if youre a bored or boring adult ? Then you MUST have a kid!!!¡1’ and then these bored or boring adults unload out a couple of kids even though, had they done some soul soearching instread, they would have realized that theyre actually childfree deep down ninside. THEN they end up becoming a wine mom or wine dad to deal with the pain or a regretfull parent or a neglectful parent.
Like I myself am a boring individual AND Im bored of my life. Im a Black single male with no IRL friends and I got fired from my old job for always coming in late . The only ’ interesting’ thing about me is thst Im trying to I enjoy reading studies, Im trying to learn the splits, the pistol spuat and the reverse planche and that I homemake ALL my meals…thats it. Im bored of my life and clearly Im a boring person… but I know that doesnt mean that by me having kids Ill just magically become ‘more interesting’ or will ‘become more interested in life’.
We really have to normalize bored adults and seniors just taking time to go soul-searching and finding new hobbies and new friends they enjoy instead of just defaulting to having a kid or raising someone else’s kid as the ‘oNlY wAy To mAke YouR liFe InTereStinG as An aDuLt’’
Yep I totally agree. Theres nothin wrong with being boring!! I mean I may not hang out with you because I’d annoy the crap out of you haha but people who just want to chill are fine.
And lol yes the amount of wine moms…which is just a way of saying “I shouldn’t have had kids because I still wanted to enjoy life so I’ll drink instead and complain”
Free time isn’t just time spent doing nothing. Free time is the time you have where you get to choose what you do. Volunteering, passion projects, playing sports, going to the gym, joining a band, gardening… thats all optional things that you have chosen to fill your free time
…like choosing to have kids…? The choice is there… you just have to live with the fact that, as a parent, you decided to spend your free time for the next 18+ years in one decision.
Edit… not specifically talking about ‘you’… the colloquial ‘you’
The issue is if you choose to have kids, and that’s already assuming there was a choice which is not always the case. You can never get that time back. You must care for a child, if you do not that’s prison time. Even meeting the bare legal standards wouldn’t be moral, meaning you must give up more time.
If I decide not to do my hobby one weekend and binge Netflix instead that’s fine. It is my free time and there are no consequences in changing how I spend it. Caring for a child is an obligation.
I wish we lived in a society where every child was wanted and brought into this world by people fully prepared and understanding of the time commitments necessary to raise a child. Unfortunately that is not the world we live in
I still don’t see a reason to reinvent the definition of free time though. In terms of this post and the conversation we should be concerned about other people’s entitlement instead.
I don’t think it’s a debate on the dictionary definition of free time as much as it is philosophical one to decide how one choice fundamentally differs from another in OPs scenario. You join a bowling team and bail on them one weekend and you’ve let your teammates down. You leave your kid with the in-laws one weekend to go on a romantic weekend getaway and everyone benefits.
I would argue that there’s no fundamental nobility to raising kids as long as you chose to have them, and I’d also argue that time spent with the family you chose to have absolutely counts as free time.
That’s exactly why I didn’t choose examples like doing nothing, playing sports, going to the gym, games, gardening, etc. I realize “free time” is a nebulous, imprecise term that people have different opinions about. But for me, it’s about time without commitments. And of course it’s optional! Hell, even the job I need to survive is technically optional: I don’t have free time when I’m scheduled to work, but I very easily could, for either my next workday, or longer…
🙄 It’s not a given! Plenty of people have another job, do passion projects, volunteer, assist family, attend schooling, etc. None of that is “free” time! You aren’t automatically noble or harder-working if you choose to spend your time parenting…
The more time I have the more I fill it up…tons of projects and hobbies and events and traveling.
The issue I think is non-creative people get bored and go welp, I’m old, better have a kid cuz thats “what you do”. Then they bitch about it for 18 years how hard it is 🙄
I’m basically never bored. Theres an unlimited amount of things to do in this world.
Indeed!
The problem is that we have so many bored adults who keep on willingly falling for the capitalist propaganda that ‘if youre a bored or boring adult ? Then you MUST have a kid!!!¡1’ and then these bored or boring adults unload out a couple of kids even though, had they done some soul soearching instread, they would have realized that theyre actually childfree deep down ninside. THEN they end up becoming a wine mom or wine dad to deal with the pain or a regretfull parent or a neglectful parent.
Like I myself am a boring individual AND Im bored of my life. Im a Black single male with no IRL friends and I got fired from my old job for always coming in late . The only ’ interesting’ thing about me is thst Im trying to I enjoy reading studies, Im trying to learn the splits, the pistol spuat and the reverse planche and that I homemake ALL my meals…thats it. Im bored of my life and clearly Im a boring person… but I know that doesnt mean that by me having kids Ill just magically become ‘more interesting’ or will ‘become more interested in life’.
We really have to normalize bored adults and seniors just taking time to go soul-searching and finding new hobbies and new friends they enjoy instead of just defaulting to having a kid or raising someone else’s kid as the ‘oNlY wAy To mAke YouR liFe InTereStinG as An aDuLt’’
Yep I totally agree. Theres nothin wrong with being boring!! I mean I may not hang out with you because I’d annoy the crap out of you haha but people who just want to chill are fine.
And lol yes the amount of wine moms…which is just a way of saying “I shouldn’t have had kids because I still wanted to enjoy life so I’ll drink instead and complain”
Free time isn’t just time spent doing nothing. Free time is the time you have where you get to choose what you do. Volunteering, passion projects, playing sports, going to the gym, joining a band, gardening… thats all optional things that you have chosen to fill your free time
…like choosing to have kids…? The choice is there… you just have to live with the fact that, as a parent, you decided to spend your free time for the next 18+ years in one decision.
Edit… not specifically talking about ‘you’… the colloquial ‘you’
The issue is if you choose to have kids, and that’s already assuming there was a choice which is not always the case. You can never get that time back. You must care for a child, if you do not that’s prison time. Even meeting the bare legal standards wouldn’t be moral, meaning you must give up more time.
If I decide not to do my hobby one weekend and binge Netflix instead that’s fine. It is my free time and there are no consequences in changing how I spend it. Caring for a child is an obligation.
I wish we lived in a society where every child was wanted and brought into this world by people fully prepared and understanding of the time commitments necessary to raise a child. Unfortunately that is not the world we live in
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Yeah I can agree to all of that.
I still don’t see a reason to reinvent the definition of free time though. In terms of this post and the conversation we should be concerned about other people’s entitlement instead.
I don’t think it’s a debate on the dictionary definition of free time as much as it is philosophical one to decide how one choice fundamentally differs from another in OPs scenario. You join a bowling team and bail on them one weekend and you’ve let your teammates down. You leave your kid with the in-laws one weekend to go on a romantic weekend getaway and everyone benefits.
I would argue that there’s no fundamental nobility to raising kids as long as you chose to have them, and I’d also argue that time spent with the family you chose to have absolutely counts as free time.
The OP of the comment thread was very much so arguing the definition of free time. They were actively trying to redefine it as time to do nothing.
Missing the forest for the trees here bud
My parents didn’t care for me at all, my dad even abused me for the incredibly short time he was around me and guess what? No one went to jail.
Sorry to hear that. They should have, our justice system often fails those who need it most
That’s exactly why I didn’t choose examples like doing nothing, playing sports, going to the gym, games, gardening, etc. I realize “free time” is a nebulous, imprecise term that people have different opinions about. But for me, it’s about time without commitments. And of course it’s optional! Hell, even the job I need to survive is technically optional: I don’t have free time when I’m scheduled to work, but I very easily could, for either my next workday, or longer…