Long story short, I’m at a point where I feel stable enough to finally start moving towards this. Got all my analisis, found a Dr and I finally got them all.

The thing is, now I’m scared. I don’t know exactly what it is or if it’s a combo. I’m scared of losing this “stability”, I’m scared of not passing, scared of the long, long, long journey and tribulations ahead, the current state of anti-trans movements, transphobes, insecurity, and whenever I think about it I’ll get an almost crippling amounts of anxiety.

I really want this to work, I’m trying hard to make it work, but the doubt about all of it makes me just don’t want to do it. Don’t want to risk all of the above, the “what if everything is for nothing?” Send me into an awful spiral. I got to this point forcing me to ignore what comes next, just the next step, don’t thinking about it, but now that it is here, well…

I want to know if this is “normal”, common, or at least understandable. That this is ok and not a sign I’m doing something wrong or at a bad time. I appreciate any insight you can give me.

EDIT: Thank you so much for your words. It means a lot.