• bitwolf@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    How exactly are we more.important?

    Earth probably hates us and thinks we’re parasites.

    • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Matt Walsh is religious if I’m not mistaken. And religious folks really don’t think we’re apes and get offended for saying so because it goes against the Abrahamic teaching that god made us. I remember saying to a religious fanatic that we are apes and she called me an ape but i was like: “Yeah, we are. That’s what I’m telling you.” Admitting that we are apes and thus animals would mean discarding the idea that humans have dominion on nature and animals as stated in the bible. And there is nothing worse for the religious (humans in general) than losing dominance.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        6 days ago

        If I remember correctly from a taxonomy point of view humans aren’t technically apes since we broke off from the ape branch. Homo sapiens and all the other earlier humans are descended from a common ancestor that broke off from the ape common line. Think how foxes broke off from wolves which then went on to become dogs.

  • laranis@lemmy.zip
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    7 days ago

    I think the proper rephrasing should be, “Would you suck one ape dick to save every human?”

    It is physically possible (unlike “every” ape dick) and shapes up as a lose-lose: OP’s either a hypocrite or an ape-dick sucker.

  • Ozymati@lemmy.nz
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    6 days ago

    So this guy would make apes extinct to save Hitler? Fucking nazi simps.

  • whereitsat@lemmy.zip
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    7 days ago

    i had an exclusive tour of a preserve in the congo because my sister was dating this guy who worked there (she loves BBC for some reason), and i met a few gorillas up close and personal. you’re never gonna believe this one, but one of them (her name was gretchen) shared a peach with me because she was full, and while i was eating it–are you ready?–she wrapped one arm around me in a warm embrace; that soft exterior gave way to a burst of sugary nectar that tasted as sweet as anything out of a factory with 50g of sugar, including coca cola and little debbie.

    but it was the love that made it so sweet.

    i’ve never even felt that kind of unconditional love out of my children; that kind of love that’s sprouted from seeds planted by a hand with a deep understanding of the human condition, with all of its pains and glories; you don’t need the cosmos when you’re so in touch with the ragged soil of earth.

    my son and daughter told me they hate me because i wouldn’t buy them a ps5 and this was after i built a totally modern gaming rig and sprung for the best graphics card and a 4tb SSD that they refuse to fill up all the way because piracy is immoral. but they wanted to play the new persona, and i love them, so i bought them the ps5 and they haven’t changed their attitude. now they want veja sneakers even though the new balance t500 has a sleeker silhouette, a timeless vintage style and costs $100 less.

    i still think of getchen from time to time and how she had a better figure than my wife.

  • fibojoly@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    And that’s how you know Peacemaker is the real deal. Of course he’d suck those dicks. Who’s first, come on!

  • altphoto@lemmy.today
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    7 days ago

    Actually, I’ve been contacted by every ape on this subject. They are mostly tops and would like to, you know. Anyway they are ok with condoms because these days it’s a no brainer.

  • dregan@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I can’t say I’m thrilled about being murdered but the fellatio beforehand is some consolation.

    • D_C@sh.itjust.works
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      7 days ago

      It is to these types of, lol, ‘alpha males’ that say these stupid things.

      That idiot wouldn’t do shit to save humanity, let alone a single human. Though these types sure will tell everyone just how laughingly tough and manly they are.

      However, yeah, it would’ve been better to say something like, “Would you wear a little girls pink summer dress whilst doing a rain dance in front of every ape to save a human”, but there you go.

  • Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    That’s factually false.

    He can save a lot of humans every day by doing something humanitarian and does not.

    The only logical inference is that his motivation is not saving humans but killing apes.