I woke up this afternoon feeling so strange. It’s not my room, it’s not my bed, and nothing feels familiar. My family isn’t here, and suddenly there’s a man, my husband, sharing my personal space for the first time. I don’t even know how to explain it, but I feel like an impostor just walking around and doing things in this place.
Sounds like you never had a chance to live on your own. Never had a chance to discover what your own tastes and preferences are. You were living in your parents house with your parents possessions, and now you probably have more authority than before (or at least I hope so, or this is even more sad) but every purchase, and every activity is still a compromise with your household.
This sounds less like growing up and more like a pet being given away to a new owner.
Most people don’t live on their own immediately after leaving their parents house. Whether it’s roommates or a romantic partner.
Calling OP a pet is rude and frankly sexist regardless of what you think of her circumstances.
I think her circumstances are sexist. I don’t blame her, I feel bad for her.
Is it rude and sexist to tell an abused woman that she should not go back to him?
It’s rude and sexist to tell a woman she’s an owned pet.
Yeah. It probably is a little rude, like telling a 600 lb person that they really need to lose weight is rude, but that doesn’t make it untrue, and it’s certainly not sexist.
Clearly I’m opposed to the sexist behavior of treating women like pets or property, that’s why I’m speaking out against it.
If you ever notice that I am unaware that I am being manipulated, abused, or mistreated, please point it out to me. I’d rather be told the truth than continue to be manipulated because “it would be rude”.
Shaming people doesn’t force them to change and calling a woman an owned animal is sexist whether you believe it or not.
If a woman is beaten by her husband would it be sexist to call her an abused wife?
Would it be racist to say “so and so was a victim of a hate crime”?
I didn’t commit the crime, I just pointed it out.
I think there is a misunderstanding here, the problem people have with your comment is not the meaning of it, but the words you chose.
Calling someone an abused wife is effectively pointing things out (as in direct description), but calling someone a pet is not pointing things out, it is making a metaphor (as in indirect description) that points at the similarity between a woman and a pet, which is what carries the sexist aspect. No big problem with that, you can simply withdraw the “pet” part and find a term that actually points things out.
You didn’t call her a wife, you called her an animal.
No, I said this situation sounds less like growing up and more like being a pet.
That’s called simile, a figure of speech that directly compares two different things to highlight a shared quality.