I do hate the “decent me aren’t sitting around worrying about being accused” not because it’s not true, but because it’s so easy to point at X Y or Z story where someone admitted they lied about the thing they accused a person of, but only years after the persons life was destroyed. Of course, the decent ones have no idea how to handle it BECAUSE they didn’t have a reason to worry about it.
<personal anecdote>
I myself have been accused of SAing a person at a party. The only party I ever went to in school consisted of show choir members chilling in a garage drinking, and only about half of us were drinking. Due to childhood trauma I cannot stand alcohol so I was one of the sober ones. When pointed out by someone else, the person almost immediately started backpeddaling to “it was a joke” but nobody laughed. Everyone was uncomfortable. And of course as more people hear about the event, the story gets diluted back to now people think I SAd someone when they’ve already said they lied about it. Not life ruining, but it very nearly got out of hand, and very quickly. The only reason I can think she thought to say that was she was mad at me for taking a solo in a song she wanted. Different friend groups, so the only thing we had in common was like 2 classes together.
I completely agree that women have a right to be safe. To name thier rapist and have thier day in court. To get justice.
But public opinion can really fuck your life up.
That hit home for me back in 2004 when I saw an episode of Law and Order: SVU. A teachers life gets torns to shreds. The episode ends with him on the stand breaking down in pain. Recounting how he lost his job, his kids and reputation. "All I can do is say I did not rape her. I did not rape her." Then the episode just ends. Don’t say if he’s guilty… Mind fuck.
Speaking of allegations…
I recall reading a story about a guy at a park wanting to take a picture of a statue and two siblings (children) also also taking pictures.
The man said to the kids “excuse me, when you’re done I’d like to take a turn to I can take a photo too” then the kids said “ok”
The mom runs up to said man and calls him a pedophile for talking to her kids.
She verbally attacks him. Somehow tracks down his identity. Doxxed him on FB. Valls him a pedophile in her Facebook feed and tells everyone he’s a predator that did something to her kids.
Small community it seems because his company let him go due to the drama. The unfounded accusation.
So the man sued the woman for defamation /slander.
She takes down all her posts and apologises. She “didn’t mean anything by it”
Yeah. That fucking sucks.
I consider myself extremely respectful of women. Raised by my mother, grandmother and five sisters. Still my own damn chores and laundry. Made me a better adult.
Did you worry about being accused before it happened? No, which is WHY it fucked you up.
“Oh no this thing happened that nearly got out of hand”!" Oh you poor dear, we should immediately pack up attempts to fight casualisation of sexual assault in response
I was pointing out how the “shock” of the false accusation is actually a good indicator of the rarity of the act, so claiming "muh false accusation tho " is a pretty poor argument to use against the original post
I do hate the “decent me aren’t sitting around worrying about being accused” not because it’s not true, but because it’s so easy to point at X Y or Z story where someone admitted they lied about the thing they accused a person of, but only years after the persons life was destroyed. Of course, the decent ones have no idea how to handle it BECAUSE they didn’t have a reason to worry about it.
<personal anecdote>
I myself have been accused of SAing a person at a party. The only party I ever went to in school consisted of show choir members chilling in a garage drinking, and only about half of us were drinking. Due to childhood trauma I cannot stand alcohol so I was one of the sober ones. When pointed out by someone else, the person almost immediately started backpeddaling to “it was a joke” but nobody laughed. Everyone was uncomfortable. And of course as more people hear about the event, the story gets diluted back to now people think I SAd someone when they’ve already said they lied about it. Not life ruining, but it very nearly got out of hand, and very quickly. The only reason I can think she thought to say that was she was mad at me for taking a solo in a song she wanted. Different friend groups, so the only thing we had in common was like 2 classes together.
I completely agree that women have a right to be safe. To name thier rapist and have thier day in court. To get justice.
But public opinion can really fuck your life up.
That hit home for me back in 2004 when I saw an episode of Law and Order: SVU. A teachers life gets torns to shreds. The episode ends with him on the stand breaking down in pain. Recounting how he lost his job, his kids and reputation. "All I can do is say I did not rape her. I did not rape her." Then the episode just ends. Don’t say if he’s guilty… Mind fuck.
Speaking of allegations…
I recall reading a story about a guy at a park wanting to take a picture of a statue and two siblings (children) also also taking pictures.
The man said to the kids “excuse me, when you’re done I’d like to take a turn to I can take a photo too” then the kids said “ok”
The mom runs up to said man and calls him a pedophile for talking to her kids.
She verbally attacks him. Somehow tracks down his identity. Doxxed him on FB. Valls him a pedophile in her Facebook feed and tells everyone he’s a predator that did something to her kids.
Small community it seems because his company let him go due to the drama. The unfounded accusation.
So the man sued the woman for defamation /slander.
She takes down all her posts and apologises. She “didn’t mean anything by it”
Yeah. That fucking sucks.
I consider myself extremely respectful of women. Raised by my mother, grandmother and five sisters. Still my own damn chores and laundry. Made me a better adult.
Edit: I tried to find the story but can’t.
This is a women’s only community.
We actually had a semi-lengthy discussion about this in the comments which you clearly didn’t read along with ignoring the rules.
Technically 🤓 it’s a women and gender diverse community, since there are more than two genders
Absolutely!
Did you worry about being accused before it happened? No, which is WHY it fucked you up.
“Oh no this thing happened that nearly got out of hand”!" Oh you poor dear, we should immediately pack up attempts to fight casualisation of sexual assault in response
Cool, it’s fine to get mad and put words in my mouth. Byeee
Your argument is that someone’s life was almost ruined and that they should just get over it?
Rude the rules.
Nope.
I was pointing out how the “shock” of the false accusation is actually a good indicator of the rarity of the act, so claiming "muh false accusation tho " is a pretty poor argument to use against the original post
Why generalise decent men if you don’t want to be pointed out?
Why you wanna recenter a post about sexual assault on women to “decent men”?