Example article for Corporate buzzwords, though it really does not matter which you take.
It seems many do not know this yet, but when any business says anything, they don’t actually think about what they say. Its all just more noise.
There are many outlets dedicated to shovelling what I call CEO Slop, like this, this, or many others.
These are not journalistic in any form, and posting them does not contribute to anything. Their only reason to exist is to generate more „culture war” nonsense instead of actually talking and organising against real issues.
But how else are we to get 360 degree feedback from our valued customers and synergise our finding to next level our product?
Let’s circle back to that
Should we take it offline or to a breakout room?
I’m not sure i have the bandwidth but maybe we can schedule a collaborative transformation meeting.
I’ll craft an email and CC Dale in BizOps
Unless you’re Weird Al.
This kind of Al literally cannot produce slop.
Because Weird Al exists, and to ensure no misunderstandings, when on the topic of artificial intelligence, I always write ai in lower case. Weird Al owns the uppercase A and the lower case L which otherwise would be indistinguishable from an uppercase i.
Not one of his best bops but still genius for calling out the bullshit of corporate nonsense lingo.
One of my biggest corporate language irritations is people saying “yourself” instead of “you” and “myself” instead of “me”.
“Can yourself send that to myself?”
No. You are not a Victorian butler announcing the arrival of the Duke of Norfolk. You work in Accounts Receivable, for fuck’s sake.
It is this bizarre belief that adding extra syllables makes someone sound more professional or intelligent, when really it just makes everything sound artificial, evasive, and frankly a bit bullshit.
Corporate environments are full of this kind of linguistic inflation.
Normal human communication gets replaced with this weird padded dialect where nobody speaks plainly anymore, and everyone sounds like they’re terrified of just saying the fucking thing they mean.
At the end of the day, it is what it is: to move the needle through a paradigm shift, we need to think outside the box, be proactive, pick the low-hanging fruit, get our ducks in a row, go back to the drawing board, and finally address the elephant in the room.
I’m definitely not going to look this gift horse in the mouth!
I’d argue that “synergy” has a valid use in some corporate contexts, but due to its overuse I steer away from it. And “synergise” is technically a word, but its use represents everything this is wrong with corporate jargon.
In my experience, synergy just means “we’ll lay off HR, IT, procurement, marketing, and logistics from the company we just acquired. Gimme bonus.”
Well, that’s not really synergy then, is it.
Examples I’ve seen where synergy has been used correctly: Two projects with different technologies, each of which has a dedicated team. The project leads agreed that it would be a good idea to use both teams for both projects “mainly for crosstraining, but the different technology backgrounds should yield some synergy within both teams”
Couldn’t find any other non tiktok link, but this is one of my favorite corporate-speak skits:
https://ifunny.co/video/pov-you-walked-into-a-corporate-meeting-of-people-who-CBvKzII8D?s=cl
I did the research a few weeks back when I first found it. Thought they were hilarious as well. Ryan is my favorite.
A lot of the media related to economics does this, Business Insider, Fortune, Forbes, Bloomberg Businessweek, Inc, Barron’s, The Economist, and so on.
They essentially exist for glazing CEOs.
Synergy, game changer, historical, unprecedented. That is a very short list, I hate these Buzz words, let’s try to think of the poker relating analogies the Clinton type people kept using, Hillary and all that, doubling down. Fuck you get the fuck out of politics nobody likes you. I’m sorry that’s the truth. Same with Kamala same with Biden get the fuck out.
