What happens next?

  • Riskable@programming.devEnglish
    2·
    4 days ago

    I turn to my financial advisors, “I need to liquidate all my wealth. As soon as possible. I need it all in cash.”

    The lead advisor is incredulous, “Are you serious, sir‽ You’ll be sued from here to Tokyo! The litigation will go on for over a decade!”

    I do my best to act like the original psychopath, “It’s MY wealth! MINE. I can do what I want with it! Fuck the haters.”

    “To what end, sir? Are we moving into gold? Crypto? Private islands like Larry Ellison? An entire city in a bunker?”

    “No. I need it all in a single bank account. I want the names and addresses of every household in America earning under $50,000. All of them.”

    I let them stew in that for a moment, the sheer logistics of the request paralyzing the room. Then I throw them a bone. “Tell me… if I set aside exactly one billion for myself, what’s the payout for the rest?”

    One of the advisors pulls up a spreadsheet and in no time at all they have the answer, “$20,739.41.”

    I smile, “Great! Make it an even $20,000 and I’ll use the rest for politics.” In my head, I laugh, “We’ll have socialized medicine in no time! Haha!”

    Even after handing out checks for over $20,000 to 40 million Americans I’m still a billionaire.

  • Libb@piefed.socialEnglish
    3·
    5 days ago

    I give one of my many billions to the FSF, in exchange for them to finish their fully Libre Operating System. I give another billion to the EFF for increasing their ability to resist that dystopia our overlords want to force us into. I give a billion to whatever fund is working for public libraries in my country (and if there is none, I would create one) edit with one specific non-negotiable clause: not a single book should be banned, ever. Even those most of us may disagree with.

    And the rest of my (too) many billions? I would build and finance as many private schools as I can, hiring the best educators and teachers, and I will make those private schools tuition-free. Offering them as a private but open alternative to the public educative system (which as bad here in France as it is is in the USA, just cheaper). So, it will not just be the richest kids anymore that will have a chance to get properly educated . I would also finance an entire lobbying cabinet to have all the assholes that are ruining the public educative systems, with their absolute shitty ideas and ideologies, removed from their post.