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Always thought friendzone was when one person was exploiting the power differential caused by non-reciprocated romantic feelings and calling it a “friendship” when it’s really an abusive sort of relationship.
If someone has unrequited feelings for you and is struggling to get over it then you need to be clear with your rejection of them and give them space to get over it. If they reject your rejection then they are being problematic. But if you can’t give them space then you are being selfish.
Romantic rejection involves a grieving process and it’s normal to need space to go through it. If the person who rejects you can’t give you that space you need then they are not your friend.
Thank you for this take. You put into words what I felt going into this comment section.
I don’t think that slut is an attack. I am a slut. I love slutty people.
It blows my mind that slut is still used as an attack on women. My family and my circle of friends have used the term playfully amongst each other, but as I got older and more involved in politics and realized that, no, there are people who legitimately believe in this myth that sluttiness is somehow immoral or stains a woman, that blew my fucking mind.
I mean, my parents weren’t exactly labeling themselves sex positive, but had I ever suggested that a woman was somehow stained or immoral or whatever else these people associate with “sluts,” my mama would have whooped my ass from here to a feminist bookstore.
Seriously, sex is fun. It’s fucking great. It’s exercise, it releases the fun chemicals, it’s a way to bond if you want to be bond, it’s a way to pass an evening in a new town if that’s all you’re in it for. Use protection, make sure you’re not bringing a murderer home, and go have fun.
Are you a woman?
Are you the gender police? Wee woo wee woo wee woo. Am I under arrest for gender crimes? Do I need to show you what’s in my underwear?
I’ll take that as a no. In which case your opinion on the word not being an issue is as irrelevant as you are not the aggrieved party.
So you’re literary assuming their gender. That’s wild.
The complete refusal to answer the question and the prior attempt to make slut not a slur is obvious enough that they’re some hetero white male who has never suffered discrimination before.
Assumed my gender and my race, what a treat you are. You kind of come across like a close-minded slut-shaming bigot who denies others the right to form their own gender identity, but I guess I deserve it because I didn’t show you my papers.
I am and I unironically love being called a slut. Idk it feels validating.
Do you understand that it’s a slur for other women even if you are personally fine with it?
Well yeah. I like being called one. I don’t call other women that unless they identify as one.
I love that slut is being reclaimed.
But a word can be both partially reclaimed and deeply insulting depending on who uses it and the context of its use. See the N-word.
I strive to reach that level of greatness.
Exactly!
“Guys” is gender exclusion.
“Nagging” is shaming women for asking someone to do what they committed to do.
“Pussy” is gender bias that women are weak.
It’s all bullshit.
For those who defend the use of any of these because we know what they mean, stop being a little shit. Just change! It’s not that hard.
Idk, I’m not sure it’s really that deep in most modern vernacular. Out of all social issues, being critical of people using slang like this who don’t intentionally mean it to be gender exclusive or biased is a choice you can make. I just think there’s bigger issues facing women than “guys” and “pussy” slang.
It might not be the most pressing issue, but it is one of the ones we have the most direct control over changing. And it’s fucking easy to do.
What I mean is that the vast majority of people using that slang in modern times aren’t associating it in the way you’re implying. The words virtually have no meaning in those contexts other than, guys = general term for any person present / pussy = being a coward. I get the root of it being sexist, but changing decades of slang when it isn’t actually that insulting is how we annoyed everyone. Marc Maron’s Panicked special covers this topic pretty well, I feel.
There’s plenty of people that find masculine default language insulting. I don’t expect people to change how they talk in general; but I find it wild how many people absolutely lose their shit over “Oh, please don’t include me in ‘you guys’.” or “Please don’t use man/dude/bro on me.”
I think anyone making meaningful efforts with material results in those areas probably gets a pass. For everyone else what’s their excuse?
Betty White had a great take on “Pussy” forgive me not remembering it correctly, but she joked more than once that it’s strange to use that word to call someone weak, those things take a pounding and usually, ask for more!
I totally agree with her! Call someone balls or scrotum or something. As someone who’s old enough to have sat on one once, those fucking things are weak sauce! 😭😭😭
I do think calling someone a “scrotum” is an insult, but not one that implies being weak.
I’ve always understood pussy (as in afraid, not the vagina meaning) to be related to cats?
I love the “I call everyone dude” shtick being responded with “So you fuck dudes?”. Shuts those type up pretty quickly.
According to the hit 1997 movie Good Burger, we’re all dudes
is short for pusillanimous. and yes, my wife is a dude.
I like thinking of it as cats.
I used to use dude a ton too. That seems to be a lot less negatively impactful for whatever reason.
Nagging doesn’t always have to do with commitment.
Hypothetically speaking, if I asked you for a cigarette every 15 seconds that would be considered nagging.
Fair point. Though I’ve never heard the phrase being used towards a man.
I’ve usually heard it as pestering if directed at a guy. And it’s usually nagging if it’s about chores. Although I’ve also heard pestering directed at women. So it mostly seems chore based.
I’ve got several male mates who are moany, naggy bastards
😂
Can I call you a dickhead?
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I’d also argue that “Slut” is also shaming a woman for her right to say NO because, generally, the person calling any woman a slut is probably an incel type who is not getting any. I imagine that men who have regular sex will rarely use the term.
Incel is in the same category, by this logic.
True but it kinda morphed from its literal meaning to “person who hates women”
There’s a bunch that kind of self identify that way and it’s more like an actual set form of indoctrination with it’s own verbage, philosophy and cultural norms? I feel like it’s more like a subculture that occasionally gets misapplied - like calling that one guy you know who always wears black t-shirts and jeans “goth” rather than something that’s “slut” or “bitch” level of ubiquitous .
How is being called a asshole keeping you down?
Women should say what i want them to say and this is retroactive.
