I have always been fond of music, especially when I’m feeling down. Now, I don’t think there’s enough popular songs about disability and how we struggle each day. But I stumbled across a song the other day that, while it’s not about disability, I’ve been listening to quite often when I feel like I failed somehow. When all that’s happening is really just me struggling and making it through another day, for better or for worse, I like to remind myself that I am perfectly incomplete, but I am good the way I am. I hope that maybe it helps you too.
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message to the admins (who will never read this)
fuck you!!! moderate fucking ableism on your damn website for fuck sake. i know reading comprehension is at an all time low but come on is it really that difficult? i know you dont care, and that it doesnt effect or actually matter to you, but can you at least pretend that you give a shit?
First things first, whenever you enter the disabled mega, I want you to know I’m casting Prayer of Healing and you always regain maximum hitpoints. No psychic damage shall be sustained or held here.
Second, I agree with you, and I will hopefully soon get to the ableist language post I promised to make, once my own issues don’t distract me so much anymore 😥 feel really bad for not getting to it sooner
you shouldnt have to make that post though. you shouldnt have to open yourself up to harassment and ridicule, and be forced to defend yourself against people that hate you. you shouldnt feel bad for not having the spoons as a disabled person to put up with other peoples bullshit, or make an effortpost about something that already exists and is just not enforced because they dont care.
I know
And yet, in the face of overwhelming negative reaction to the topic of ableist language, I still believe we should make these posts. For lack of a better explanation, I just refuse to give up. I finally managed to write a raw draft and am discussing it with the other disabled mods at the moment. Once we are okay with it, I will put up a link here for you all to check it out and give feedback, so we can modify it and make a post that represents our common stand on the topic of ableist language.
i mean the problem goes beyond just “ableist language”. its about so many people being anti-accessibility for disabled people because any amount of small “inconvenience” for them is a bad thing. because thats all disabled people are to them. an inconvenience. their fundamental views are the problem.
I have thought about this vis a vis COVID, like how there used to be a vegantheoryclub forum or whatever where they just straight up did not tolerate this kinda thing, say some carnist shit and you get the boot. Needs to be something for ableism. Say some foolish anti- shit, get banned. No debate. I am tired of the concessions. I am tired of mingling with these people like we are cool. We are not cool.
this is part of the hexbear (and most instances) tos its just not enforced because (as we said) they dont actually care
you are right, though
and given administration ranges from indifference to active encouragement, standing up on stage and going “please stop being assholes” isnt gonna change anything
The alternative is to not say anything and let it slide, but that will not make anything better for sure. I think we need to keep trying, and while I don’t want to expect that from everyone in the comm, I feel as a mod I have an obligation to keep trying (whenever I can, obviously not all the time, I’m also just one person with disabilities).
Edit: And you are correct, it does go beyond language a lot, but language is the first barrier to cross to make a place either accommodating or a shit hole. I’d like to start with language, question how it’s used, and then encourage people to think about why they’re saying things the way they do and maybe improve on the reasons behind that and the language at the same time.
Tl;dr: Sometimes you can’t reach them, but sometimes you can.
I agree. People who start socializing with kind people really late in their life need people who patiently talk about these things with them. It can be a lifesaver. Just because someone is saying something that you’re not cool with doesn’t mean they’re not ready to change.
There’s people who’ve gone through a rough upbringing who stop doing a shitty behavior just because you give them awareness of another option. Not saying everyone is willing to change, but many are. Even if for them it’ll take years of practice, helping orient their trajectory may kickstart their growth. Ignorance should be welcomed as long as its corrected and they’re willing to change.
The universe and humanity’s place in it is vast and our individual understanding is limited. We all don’t know more than we know. Being given grace when we are trying to evolve for the better is an integral part of pretty much every human’s learning process. We are not here only to discuss what we already know, we are here to learn.