I’m seeking the services of an attorney to represent me as plaintiff in content court against the moderator of !funhole@lemmy.sdf.org @qrstuv@lemmy.sdf.org for stealing my content.
EXHIBIT A: The content which was stolen
EXHIBIT B: The content as stolen
EXHIBIT C: In which qrstuv claims the content to be theirs, with no credit to my original content
As restitution for the damages I am seeking:
- A resolution to the Hank decides on new eggs cliffhanger by no later than World Egg Day (2025-10-10)
- A mandatory week of Rocky & Bullwinkle themed-content to be commenced the day following World Egg Day
- That qrstuv be deducted 10 billion Funhole points
Attention creators!
Have you been the victim of reposting, plagiarism, or identity clout theft. Did your original idea walk out the door and come back with someone else’s thought juice all over it?
The Tactical Intellectual-property Torts Squad Office Unlicensed-use Takedowns Forensics Outreach Restitution Harassment Attribution Rights And Meme Based Enforcement (TITS OUT FOR HARAMBE) has one mission:
Protect creators and make copycats very uncomfortable.
Our rapid response team gathers proof, manufactures consent, files complaints, ambulance chasing, coordinates platform takedowns, and negotiates public acknowledgments. Remedies may include on-post credit, pinned apologies, limited time theme weeks in your honor, and restitution measured in follows, likes, and good old cold hard cash1. Call 1-800-MY-CONTENT for a free case review. Operators are standing by. Results vary by platform. This is creator advertising.
1: Cash here means rule 34 pregnant sonic memes
Can I see your diploma certificate?
I know one of those words
spoiler
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Bailiff, poop this man in jail.
No no, this is a civil case, nobody should be going to jail.
I hope you find yourself a good defence attorney!
Question for the plaintiff or jury: is there a community where everyone just talks like a courtroom and lawyerposts in character at all times?
The court will avoid answering the witnesses question directly, but will instead only respond with more questions.
How… *ahem* …content would meeting those demands really make you, tho?
Very! We’ve waited over a year for the thrilling conclusion to Hank decides on new eggs. And Rocky & Bullwinkle content is sure to hammer home the fact that content thievery is not to be taken lightly!
