comic by BrookeValley
Looked uo the definition on Urban Dictionary and I still have no idea what you mean
I assume they mean something along the lines of “the world is collectively just trying to make me feel safe and comfortable, rather than being honest”. So basically impostor syndrome?
Oh, yeah, I know what you mean now. That like you assume they see a trans woman, rather than just a woman, and that’s why they call you as a woman, because they’re trying to be nice to trans people, rather than just seeing you as a woman.
When everyone supports you and validates you no matter what, you’ll never be certain whether you deserve that support and validation. In this case, it basically means our transfem thinks those gendering her correctly are just pandering.
Self-gaslighting - into selfdepreciation, perhaps?
Precisely. Getting the treatment you want seems so impossible that the mind rejects it.
Someone called me “madam” the other day. I still don’t know how I feel about it.
Edit: To clarify, “ma’am” feels nice, but when you revert the contraction, I feel like a misbehaving little girl who’s being told off by a parent.
Ewwphoria territory?
Mmmyeah. Like I’ll take literally anything I can get. Casual misogyny. Whatever.
I like the strategy my friend employes:
“FUCK YOU GORGEOUS BITCH, WAKE AND SMELL THE ROSES, YOU ARE ONE IN 3 MILLION.
GLAD TO HAVE YOU, BITCH!”It wakes me up from realizing I am not alone in this self-denial and impostor syndrome. Plus, Elon Musk pretty much cured many folks’ imposters’ syndromes, after all his fuckups.
Wouldn’t that be more like 1 in 350, at least for the US?
Also, I get what you mean about Musk. The world was never a meritocracy, with the successful merely being in the right place and time. They’re not smarter or more capable than those who failed, it’s just that somebody has to be the “winners” out of all us similar people. It was always a lottery that treated the unlucky like trash.
No, because my friend wants to single me out of every single person, because they are that aware I am incredibly unique. It’s a best of friends banter.
yeah. But there’s also oppression and exploitation. Folks keep ignoring that Musk owns slaves.
Respectfully, as an older trans woman, I’ve always felt that it’s the style of clothes you wear and the subtle demure and grace you carry that makes you presentable as a woman. You won’t just look the part, you will feel it. The looks you will get are of admiration and envy. They’ll see you how a mortal sees a goddess. It’s very powerful.
But if you’re looking like you just stepped out of Hot Topic or the Harajuku district, plastered with makeup like a clown, you’re gonna get forced acceptance, straight into the hugbox. Yeah, you’re really cute and I want to snuggle with you, but I believe that this is one of the main stigmas that trans women are known for, hence my refusal to dress like that. I do have some fun pieces in that wheelhouse, but they’re for parties or events, not everyday wear. Maybe hit up Macy’s or Kohl’s for starters and let it organically evolve from there.
What I’m saying is, just be careful how you present yourself. First impressions count.
The advice I received was “dress like a woman, not a girl.” Similarly, “Full respect to drag queens, but too much makeup does make you look like a drag queen, not a woman going about her day.”
