Let’s only focus on the reverse gear position, I believe there are as follow:
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all the way to the right and down.
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all the way to the right and up.
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all the way to the left and up.
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knob pull then shift to left and up.
For me, if I drive an old 5 speed then 1).
For modern cars with 6 speed, I prefer 4). It makes me feel confident that I am definitely in reverse.
A 6 speed with 3) imo is just terrible. I know many BMWs have this pattern. The idea is to really push to the left so you engage reverse and not 1st. Tried it on a friend’s car and I was quite nervous: what happen if I yank too hard and damage the shifter?
4 for sure. 1 is a pain in the ass when you get in a 5 speed and you’re used to something else. I subconsciously double-clutched once and almost released the clutch in reverse gear at 70 once with that.
It’s usually hard/impossible to pull a 6-speed shift on a 5-speed and go 5>R. I acknowledge there’s improvements over time, but, what I know from my sample is: no synchro on reverse, so it’d take much more force to engage. I know my miata has a lockout plate so you must go N>R as it blocks 5>R, and still requiring a massive yank to get the transmission to agree to spool up the dogs to a negative 20,000rpm.
Were you double clutching on an upshift?