So a few weeks ago i had a bout with a close friend of mine (autistic nb) who lashed at me because i wasn’t supportive enough when they had a rough patch. I agree with this assessment mostly but pointed out to them that as im autistic i couldnt read the room and i was shut down that this is exactly a lot of autistic man’s way to make excuses for not putting in any effort to improve their communication.
After that i did a bit of self exploration and i did recognize that i do actually have problems with this (though with reservations that aren’t relevant here) and i feel like while most things i am completely able to communicate assertively and even proactively and have been praised for my emotional intelligence multiple times but this communication thing to me still feels like i am just playing cards in my head and my deck is completely unprepared for this scenario - someone going through it and needing support.
So does anyone have any resources (books/articles/anything i can read mostly cause im not a video person) i can start on this?
Yeah my problem is that i always gravitated towards people who were pouring everything on me without asking because i was way more comfortable reacting to others than leading a convo but now i feel i came to a point where i can’t ride it out anymore and even with these kinds of friends my relationships became kinda shallow so i’m trying to up my game. Thanks a lot for the answer!
Boundary setting is really hard, especially when you don’t realize a boundary is being crossed. As the other poster said, a lot of practice and repetition to realize what you’re comfortable with, and also to be firm enough that the boundary doesn’t get crossed.
Best wishes on your journey! It takes an effort for sure, good on you for trying