So a few weeks ago i had a bout with a close friend of mine (autistic nb) who lashed at me because i wasn’t supportive enough when they had a rough patch. I agree with this assessment mostly but pointed out to them that as im autistic i couldnt read the room and i was shut down that this is exactly a lot of autistic man’s way to make excuses for not putting in any effort to improve their communication.

After that i did a bit of self exploration and i did recognize that i do actually have problems with this (though with reservations that aren’t relevant here) and i feel like while most things i am completely able to communicate assertively and even proactively and have been praised for my emotional intelligence multiple times but this communication thing to me still feels like i am just playing cards in my head and my deck is completely unprepared for this scenario - someone going through it and needing support.

So does anyone have any resources (books/articles/anything i can read mostly cause im not a video person) i can start on this?

  • shath [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    sometimes people want solutions and sometimes people want “damn that’s rough anything i can do to help” asking them this straight up helps me a lot.

    things that can help include but are not limited to:

    thing to help take mind off thing

    help them rant to release pressure

    go out for a little treat

    “sorry to hear that pal, that’s fucked” or similar

    check in with them later (this is a big one honestly, people don’t expect it these days and does very much show you care)