So a few weeks ago i had a bout with a close friend of mine (autistic nb) who lashed at me because i wasn’t supportive enough when they had a rough patch. I agree with this assessment mostly but pointed out to them that as im autistic i couldnt read the room and i was shut down that this is exactly a lot of autistic man’s way to make excuses for not putting in any effort to improve their communication.

After that i did a bit of self exploration and i did recognize that i do actually have problems with this (though with reservations that aren’t relevant here) and i feel like while most things i am completely able to communicate assertively and even proactively and have been praised for my emotional intelligence multiple times but this communication thing to me still feels like i am just playing cards in my head and my deck is completely unprepared for this scenario - someone going through it and needing support.

So does anyone have any resources (books/articles/anything i can read mostly cause im not a video person) i can start on this?

  • FedPosterman5000 [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    7·
    2 days ago

    I don’t have a resource, but you’re not alone in this - I struggle with this too (usually while walking away and going through my mental conversation checklist realizing that I’ve forgotten to ask people about themselves…). I do genuinely care, I just want most social interactions to be over asap and have about a dozen dvd logos bouncing around the corners of my brain lol.

    I echo what others have said though. For me it’s like any physical exercise, repetition and training are key. And learning my own boundaries around mental/sensory overwhelm; because if I’m overwhelmed but ask out of obligation and then someone starts talking about their issues, there’s a non-zero chance I’ll immediately glaze over.

    • DivineChaos100 [none/use name]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      3·
      2 days ago

      Yeah my problem is that i always gravitated towards people who were pouring everything on me without asking because i was way more comfortable reacting to others than leading a convo but now i feel i came to a point where i can’t ride it out anymore and even with these kinds of friends my relationships became kinda shallow so i’m trying to up my game. Thanks a lot for the answer!