So a few weeks ago i had a bout with a close friend of mine (autistic nb) who lashed at me because i wasn’t supportive enough when they had a rough patch. I agree with this assessment mostly but pointed out to them that as im autistic i couldnt read the room and i was shut down that this is exactly a lot of autistic man’s way to make excuses for not putting in any effort to improve their communication.

After that i did a bit of self exploration and i did recognize that i do actually have problems with this (though with reservations that aren’t relevant here) and i feel like while most things i am completely able to communicate assertively and even proactively and have been praised for my emotional intelligence multiple times but this communication thing to me still feels like i am just playing cards in my head and my deck is completely unprepared for this scenario - someone going through it and needing support.

So does anyone have any resources (books/articles/anything i can read mostly cause im not a video person) i can start on this?

  • TraschcanOfIdeology [they/them, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    6·
    2 days ago

    Have you read unmasking autism? I think it’s a great resource for you to feel more comfortable and to also recognize the outward signs of stuff not going great for other ND people around you.

    Also, it never hurts to ask. My flavor of neurospicy is one that really needs verbal confirmation of things. Sometimes it’s awkward when you ask someone “hey, just making sure you’re doing OK”, because they’re indeed OK and now are wondering why you asked. But when I’m not OK and one of my friends checks in on me because they noticed me drifting off in thought or something, it gives me the chance to externalize what’s making me feel bad.

    Hell, sometimes I didn’t even notice I was sensory or emotionally overwhelmed til a friend checked in on me and made me realize that I was not feeling great, and that I could do something about it. So, my advice is to just straight up ask. Talk to your friends about if they would like to be asked and how, but yeah, blunt, clear communication might not be as exciting as other ways of noticing you’re not doing so hot, but it’s effective.