You can’t imagine a scenario where a person choosing to politely and cheerfully assist you with your job would be a good thing? Sounds like a failure of your imagination specifically
My boyfriend is a very nice guy. He helps servers do their job by piling the plates when we’re done eating and leaving them at the edge of the table where they’re accessible like a normal human being.
I can promise you from 10+ years of experience in the service industry, getting up to grab your own food, no matter how “polite” your intent is, is never, ever fucking welcome. Not only is it insulting and passive aggressive, but it can cause hazards for the customer and other servers, besides you could be stealing food that’s not even your own. This is absolutely unhinged behaviour.
Editing to add a PSA: it’s also never okay to take food off a server’s tray. That shit takes balance and you will get food or drinks spilled all over you if you pull that shit.
We have no idea if the food was on a tray or whether there were any other customers orders present to get mixed up. I agree it’s weird as shit, and you can welcome it or not as you please, assuming it’s an insult or passive-aggressive is still entirely baseless. Literally any hazard it could cause to another customer or server could just as easily be caused by him walking to the bathroom. Your boyfriend does sound nice, I also do that.
Can you imagine your partner being so focused on the 5 minutes it takes a waiter to bring food to the table that, rather than having a conversation with you or something, they stand up and go pick up their plate unlike every single other human being in that restaurant?
That would present a significantly greater risk of him contaminating someone else’s food or hurting himself than simple carrying his own plate to his table, think harder
So letting him pick his own plate still have a chance of him contaminating the counter, other plates, break things accidentally, bump into a server, and cause confusion and commotion. Didn’t have to think that hard. :)
“Contaminating the counter” isn’t a thing, nobody is eating off of the counter. Every other problem you listed can just as easily be caused by a customer walking across the dining room to the bathroom. I believe you when you say you didn’t think that hard.
They key thing to note here is he does it because he’s impatient, not because he’s such a nice guy. There is no way he’s not a pushy asshole, even if he hides it behind passive-agressive behavior.
I think it’s more like somebody who doesn’t respect this boundary probably doesn’t respect other boundaries, too. This is just unhinged behavior, sorry. It’s at best profoundly embarrassing.
You don’t have a clue what his motives are or whether he’s being a pushy asshole or not, you have exactly the same information I do and you’re making baseless assumptions. If what you’re claiming is true then yes it would be a bad thing, fucking duh, but you don’t know that.
Lol k, well she also used the word “help”, and he’s smiling in the pic so clearly he’s being nice about. You still lose.
Also worth noting that I never said anything abour him being impatient, I said you didn’t know he was being a pushy asshole, and you don’t. Being impatient does not in any way require being rude.
And I’m sure she said this was a “beige flag” because he’s such a great, thoughtful guy. You’re being incredibly obtuse. This is a post about her boyfriend having sketchy behavior.
If she meant red flag she’d have said red flag, if he was angry or pushy you’d think it might show on his face, but thinking’s clearly not your thing. You’re free to make whatever assumptions you want, but they are still assumptions. There’s nothing “sketchy” about being impatient either, you’re reaching.
You’re fortunate to not have experience with pushy assholes who do everything with a polite tone and a smile. You sound like you would be incredibly easy to manipulate - be careful out there.
I can’t think of any way doing this regularly could be a good thing.
I can’t think of any way doing this ever would be a good thing.
If the motivation is impatience, no, but I guess if you have a genuine desire to help people it could be a good thing.
You can’t imagine a scenario where a person choosing to politely and cheerfully assist you with your job would be a good thing? Sounds like a failure of your imagination specifically
My boyfriend is a very nice guy. He helps servers do their job by piling the plates when we’re done eating and leaving them at the edge of the table where they’re accessible like a normal human being.
I can promise you from 10+ years of experience in the service industry, getting up to grab your own food, no matter how “polite” your intent is, is never, ever fucking welcome. Not only is it insulting and passive aggressive, but it can cause hazards for the customer and other servers, besides you could be stealing food that’s not even your own. This is absolutely unhinged behaviour.
Editing to add a PSA: it’s also never okay to take food off a server’s tray. That shit takes balance and you will get food or drinks spilled all over you if you pull that shit.
We have no idea if the food was on a tray or whether there were any other customers orders present to get mixed up. I agree it’s weird as shit, and you can welcome it or not as you please, assuming it’s an insult or passive-aggressive is still entirely baseless. Literally any hazard it could cause to another customer or server could just as easily be caused by him walking to the bathroom. Your boyfriend does sound nice, I also do that.
Can you imagine your partner being so focused on the 5 minutes it takes a waiter to bring food to the table that, rather than having a conversation with you or something, they stand up and go pick up their plate unlike every single other human being in that restaurant?
Can I imagine being hungry? Yeah, pretty easily. Just because other people aren’t doing it doesn’t make it bad.
Sure. Why don’t you just go into the kitchen and start cooking, too, while you’re at it?
That would present a significantly greater risk of him contaminating someone else’s food or hurting himself than simple carrying his own plate to his table, think harder
So letting him pick his own plate still have a chance of him contaminating the counter, other plates, break things accidentally, bump into a server, and cause confusion and commotion. Didn’t have to think that hard. :)
“Contaminating the counter” isn’t a thing, nobody is eating off of the counter. Every other problem you listed can just as easily be caused by a customer walking across the dining room to the bathroom. I believe you when you say you didn’t think that hard.
They key thing to note here is he does it because he’s impatient, not because he’s such a nice guy. There is no way he’s not a pushy asshole, even if he hides it behind passive-agressive behavior.
I think it’s more like somebody who doesn’t respect this boundary probably doesn’t respect other boundaries, too. This is just unhinged behavior, sorry. It’s at best profoundly embarrassing.
You don’t have a clue what his motives are or whether he’s being a pushy asshole or not, you have exactly the same information I do and you’re making baseless assumptions. If what you’re claiming is true then yes it would be a bad thing, fucking duh, but you don’t know that.
Yes, I do know that, because it’s explicitly stated.
Lol k, well she also used the word “help”, and he’s smiling in the pic so clearly he’s being nice about. You still lose.
Also worth noting that I never said anything abour him being impatient, I said you didn’t know he was being a pushy asshole, and you don’t. Being impatient does not in any way require being rude.
And I’m sure she said this was a “beige flag” because he’s such a great, thoughtful guy. You’re being incredibly obtuse. This is a post about her boyfriend having sketchy behavior.
If she meant red flag she’d have said red flag, if he was angry or pushy you’d think it might show on his face, but thinking’s clearly not your thing. You’re free to make whatever assumptions you want, but they are still assumptions. There’s nothing “sketchy” about being impatient either, you’re reaching.
You’re fortunate to not have experience with pushy assholes who do everything with a polite tone and a smile. You sound like you would be incredibly easy to manipulate - be careful out there.
This is the weirdest hill to die on, compadre