Hello comrades and welcome to the second improvement megathread of May! 
It is Mother’s Day today.
Some discussion ideas:
- How was your week?
- Do you have any plans for next week?
- Do you have some streaks or sober days to share?
poster caption: “Glory to the mother heroine!”
Good luck with your goals! 
pursuing knowledge, peace, and love has me ostracized from all family, friends, and now significant other. Used to be STEM breadwinner, now spiritual nomad. they ask me questions, and retaliate at the responses, because they see their reflection and cannot stand it. first step to unconditional love: loving yourself. treating mind-body-spirit like Father-Son-Holy Ghost. unless Jesus hits a second coming and whisks the educated out of mass unemployment, Idiocracy has won, and like Ancient Egyptians, I discipline my thoughts in preparation for whatever’s after this. I forgive everyone because, had it not been for the suffering, I would’ve remained ignorant, greedy, and subsequently weak. Hence why I am no longer concerned with generational wealth. “That’s its own curse” - billy woods
(microbiota superiority)
nevermind, 196lbs, I still got it
Alright well threw my vape out, time to start my quit. UGH, not looking forward to the irritability and disturbed sleep but it is what is is.
Training program looks promising, finished the orientation today. Gonna be learning bit of everything housing related, most excited for electrical work. Gonna get a little diploma at the end and a certificate also this program free. They also gave me a box of food stuff, gonna get a box every Friday so that’s nice, what extra goes towards gas can be offset with this. Looks like I’ll be able to go into construction more than anything I’m hoping to be an electrician
roll call
@SeventyTwoTrillion@hexbear.net
@TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net
@LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net
@Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net
@anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net
If anybody else wants to be added to the roll call, just let me know
So I just ordered some nicotine lozenges to help with my quit. If I can get over the hump of the first week of not vaping I should be set. I’ve resigned myself to having fucked up sleep and dreams for a bit but it’s just something I’ll have to deal with. That’s been my biggest issueof quitting vaping outside of the cravings and general irritableness where I want to punch everyone around me.
Hell yeah! Roll call gang!
I finally have a job and I’ve been riding that high now that I have an income again. Too bad it’s seasonal and pays very little so no moving out. I’ve also found a therapist to try CBT.
Does anyone know a good way to make progress if you’ve ever been like me and found yourself desperately seeking a purpose in life? I’ve been this way for almost a decade.
keep fasting
Wanted to kind of give up yesterday when I saw I didn’t lose as much weight as I wanted but still at it, I might have to eventually calorie count which eh. Also gonna power through and do some gym toward the end of my fasts, yesterday went well. I think I’ll know if I can get a W if I keep up for a week then another and another. I feel determined
Was trying 250 bench and failed, 230 is a good halfway point to it. Need to eat more but balancing this fat loss and muscle growth difficult. Maybe in a month I’ll get to 250 maybe two if I keep the fasts going and stay steady
sorry i didn’t post anything yet
still not drinking but after… 45 days i think i’m just about to cave any day now
my caffeine addiction feels like it’s been getting worse and i’m just looking noticeably tired now
and idk if it’s because i’ve been eating too much on the weekends when I’m not doing intermittent fasting anymore but it feels like i’ve hit another fucking roadblock at still significantly higher than i want to be at about 198. I want to get down to 190 before going back up another 10 lbs. maybe if i actually tried eating more moderately instead of gorging on carbs during my one meal time per day i probably could lose some but my energy to really do shit about myself it just… not really there. i’m tired
Check out How Not to Diet if you want to learn more about healthy weight loss, it has a lot of useful info
weight loss
Went to the doctor today and I weighed in, only lost 1 pound despite the aggressive fasting I been doing. Kinda bummed but this fasting stuff as become the new normal for me now so
I was offered some shot to lose weight but idk I’ll keep at it for now. My doctor been saying I probably been gaining muscle mroe than anything which is cool but it makes the goal of bench pressing my weight far away.I had a really good week for once, here are my Ws:
- went jogging on 3 days
- practiced meditation on 5 days in a row
- made 11 vegan burritos for meal prep
- lost around 0.5kg
Next week I want to continue jogging, meditating and eating healthy. But my main goal for next week is to socialize and touch grass with friends
Personal
- I stopped journaling for no real reason last week so I need to get back on it. I’m trying to update my wardrobe and get some more “I’m a grown man now” fits. I’m hitting up my local thrift stores and I’m finding a lot of the quality to be pretty bad on the shirts and pants alike. Also talked to my neighbor at the mailbox for our complex. A bit of a moron but seem like a good person. I need to be more social and meet people.
school/computer nerd shit
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I have finals this week. This master program has been the correct move for me. It’s been hard, and a bit deflating, and got more student debt cause of it but being a computer wizard tends to have high return on investment so I should be able to clear that debt in a reasonable time with high earning potential.
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Been doing a lot of programming this week
. I setup a personal site to host my resume and stuff and I need to jazz it up a bit but I am just trying to get my basics done. Also checked out a ton of technical books I need to read in my future classes I want to read them before the summer ends and shift my brain into overdrive on this techno nerd stuff.
fitness
- i was unaware of the game of the Kettlebell. It’s a wonderful workout instrument, been doing swings approximately 250 a day at 35 KG/50 LB and I am seeing great results. I’m strong, my core is MUCH better looking and performing and I have come a long way in a short time.
Goals
- just more game development stuff, do my reading of my books I checked out, and keep up my forward momentum into week ahead
Career stuff: got a call for some training I signed up for weather stuff, electrical, plumbing and hvac. It’s free training and I start monday with an orientation this friday so I’m happy. I’d been putting off the job search in earnest because I wanted to get this done and the time frame seems to have jumped up for me. 8 weeks will go by fast and I’ll do my best to learn and find a job afterwards I hope, funny thing was gonna do another plasma donation on friday but with this maybe I don’t have to now
at least funding wise I think I’m good for now just need to see it through and get whatever help they offer to find a job afterwards.Things have been getting better and better for me! I started on sertraline two months ago and the difference it’s made is insane. The only downside is that I can’t cum nearly as often but that’s a small price to pay. Also I want to give credit to myself as well. I’ve been going to therapy and getting a lot out of it, I’ve been talking about mental health with my friends and family and I’ve been having a healthier diet and exercise routine.
Which brings me to what went really well for me last week, which is that I did a 3km walk into college and then did a workout or a swim four days last week. And I felt really really good about it, and I’m very motivated to go again. I had some muscle pain after the first day but I didn’t let that stop me, and it went away very quickly as I kept exercising. I’ve also been eating better. I’ve cut out a lot of snacks, and I’m having breakfast nearly every day now.
Mentally, I’ve realised just how depressed I was for the last few years, and I’ve only noticed that because I’m not that depressed anymore. I can recognize that the ways I was just passing time until the end of the day were unhealthy coping mechanisms, and I feel much fresher and have more energy now. I still have ADHD, obviously, and I’m not a productivity freak like some of my neurotypical friends, but I’ve felt like I can take more actions in a day now. One thing I noticed is that I’m not inexhaustible even when I feel great. I went for an early walk and swim yesterday and had to lie down all afternoon because I just had no energy. But I’m glad I was using yo my energy at least
Mentally, I’ve realised just how depressed I was for the last few years, and I’ve only noticed that because I’m not that depressed anymore.
One of the most profoundly melancholic feelings I have felt. Realizing how bad things were is a very strange feeling to me. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it just is, and I don’t the like the is that it is.
Stickied good luck
