Explanation: Roman public latrines were, counterintuitively to modern Western cultural norms, places for socialization while you did your, ahem, business. Rather than desperately trying to avoid eye contact with anyone in or out of the latrines, it was common to take a seat next to someone, strike up some conversation; even play a quick game of tic-tac-toe between the seats! The Roman poet Juvenal even wrote a short poem making fun of a man who was lingering in the public latrines all day - not because of intestinal issues, but because he hoped (not entirely absurdly) to score a dinner invitation (free food!) by making small talk with his fellow shitters!

Hand me the tersorium when you’re done, will you?

True bathroom philosophers