I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ChickenWingPriest

Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest

Broke up with my girlfriend over tattoos. She no longer “agrees” with our breakup. Nuts.

Trigger Warnings: accusations of controlling behavior, emotional manipulation

Original Post: April 14, 2025

I want to preface this with a disclaimer that there is nothing wrong with having tattoos if you want and like them. They aren’t my thing. Please don’t take this as a condemnation of tattoos or the people that get them as a whole.

My ex and I were together about a year. Early on in the relationship she had mentioned wanting to get some tattoos. I told her she had every right to do so since its her body, but I find tattoos very unattractive and I would likely break up if she went through with it. It became a small fight and she was cold and passive aggressive about it for a few days, but eventually she said she understood and would not be getting the tattoos done.

Fast forward to about two months ago and she makes another attempt to get me on board with tattoos. I reiterate my stance and tell her again she can do it, but I won’t stick around if she does. I went out of town to visit my cousin for a week and come home to her with a partial sleeve done. Her arm was basically one big scab. I ask her what’s going on and she just nonchalantly says her and her best friend had talked and agreed I was being unreasonable so she went ahead and used my time out of town to get it done so I wouldn’t be around to be a “buzzkill” about it. She said she got as much as the guy was willing to do in one sitting inked and once she was healed she planned to get it extended.

The tattoo was already a dealbreaker for me, but the blatant disrespect and casual way she was implying my opinion didn’t matter broke my feelings for her right there.

We fought and eventually she just told me to get the hell out and locked herself in the bathroom. Thank god she did this when she did because I was close to not renewing my lease at my apartment and moving in with her. Packed my shit up and left while she shit talked me to her best friend on the phone. Dropped her stuff off from my place the next day. She told me I was making a huge mistake and throwing a good thing away for petty reasons. I just handed her the bag and left. That was weeks ago. Didn’t hear from her until today.

She called me. Here’s a very brief summary of the call.

Her: Ok the petty drama has run its course. You can move back in and move on ok?

Me: No we are broken up. It’s over permanently. I don’t want to get back together.

Her: We aren’t getting back together. This was just a spat that got out of hand. You freaked out and left in a huff. I know you’re just too proud to admit you’re wrong so we’ll just call it even and you can come back.

Me: No I told you repeatedly that tattoos are a deal breaker. You did it anyway and then disrespected me on top of that with the way you went about it. We’re done. You can move on now. Find a guy that finds your new ink attractive because I find it repulsive and wouldn’t be able to look at you or that arm again.

Conversation goes in circles for a bit before I hang up. Then she tries sending me some nudes in an attempt to seduce me, but her body does nothing for me now and her sleeve was visible which, even after it healed, was gross and unflattering. Told her I deleted them and to leave me alone. Blocked.

She then messaged me on a snap saying she never agreed to a breakup and I owed her a conversation face to face if I wanted to end things. Blocked again.

I know it’s bad form to be a guy calling his ex crazy, but this girl is nuts.

Edit: I find all the talk about me being shallow pretty funny considering she told me that if I ever gained weight or stopped going to the gym she’d leave me. Hell she put on weight throughout our entire relationship and it never once made me consider leaving her. I still found her beautiful. When she changed her hair color to colors that I didn’t like I never said a bad word to her about it. I was supportive. I didn’t like it, but it wasn’t a dealbreaker.

One last edit: This was great. Sub really is great for getting things off your chest (sub name and whatnot.) Had a lot of fun reading responses and while I didn’t need validation to know what I did was right I still appreciate the supportive folks. The negative ones accusing me of being shallow, controlling, weird, and all sorts of other things because I have a preference were fun too. Didn’t change my mind one bit, but I’m glad you guys were able to get those things off your chests as well.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: You two were just incompatible. Nothing wrong with breaking up over it. On to the next adventure!

OOP: Could you please let her know she’s supposed to be on a new adventure? She seems to think we’re still on the old one.

Commenter 2: I don’t understand your POV regarding tattoos but she’s delusional. With the way she handled this, there was no way the relationship would work out long-term so it’s best that it ended here.

OOP: It’s just a preference. Nothing too deep here. Just a turn off for me. I don’t think I’m wrong in any way for having this preference.

Commenter 3: It’s a bit weird to go from considering a tattoo to a complete sleeve. I could understand her thinking of we will get back together had she some small tattoo on her ankle or something.

I know I am definitely older than OP and his ex, but I’ve seen a few of these posts about one side not accepting or agreeing to a breakup. When did that become an option? Even when people said a breakup was mutual it never really was, but now apparently, they have to be?

OOP: Her original plan was a bunch of smaller tattoos around her body. One on each ankle, shoulder, and one on her lower back. Now she has a partial sleeve with plans to get the rest done over the next year or so. She didn’t even do any of the other ones she said she wanted initially.

Commenter 4: She will blame you as well, and many will side with her.

Be ready to say “Well, if you’ve already made your decision that I’m at fault without talking to me, then I want nothing to do with such a low quality friend of such poor character. I thought we were friends and I deserved my side. I guess you just suck as a friend.”

OOP: Strangely enough even her friends who have reached out to me said they don’t blame me. The only person who is on her side is her best friend. Even my friends with tattoos fully support my decision and don’t think I’ve been shallow or controlling as the commenters here seem to think.

OOP on his GF’s appearances and the changes if she made any

OOP: The thing is lots of other things changed that I didn’t like that I was ok with because I did like her and we did have lots in common. People are in this thread acting like I never cared about her and was looking for an out but I wasn’t. She gained weight (after telling me she’d leave me if I ever put on weight) and I never said a word. Still found her beautiful and wanted to be with her. Same thing when she kept changing her hair to colors I didn’t like. I was supportive because I cared about her. The tattoo was one of very few hard lines I had in the relationship and the only one that was related to physical appearance.

Combine that with the disrespect she’d shown me and the way she handled all this and it killed my feelings for her. Not because of the tattoo. If she told me she was getting that tattoo and put that ultimatum out there I’d have left but would have respected her decision and still cared about her. Would have tried to stay friends too if at all possible. But not now after everything she’s done.