transcript
A book with the title "I didn’t touch the computer, it just stopped working And Other Hilarious Jokes you Can Tell Someone from the IT Department.
Just put in a ticket. SLA is 3 days, see you in 2 weeks, but only because your boss got involved. God I hate the IT department.
As someone working in the IT department, I can tell you a secret:
We can sense when someone doesn’t appreciate us and we let them wait longer on purpose 🙂
Story time: I’ve had my work laptop replaced three times in the past two years because of persistent crashes under load. We tried replacing a lot of stuff, uninstalled all kinds of software etc., nothing helped. Turns out they’d remotely installed some utility about five years ago that controls fan speeds. That has been installed on each new machine because it was in my profile. When I checked, I found out that this thing hadn’t been updated in three years and was likely not compatible with my current hardware. Uninstalled it, never had problems since. So yeah, that was fun. At least I got a new laptop out of it.
To be fair, on my work computer, 99% of my issues are related to botched updates running in the background without my knowledge, consent, or input.
Sketchy CMD scripts run in the background, all the fans spin up, then the drivers just randomly give up and bring the whole system down with it.
100% of the issues on my personal system are self inflicted.
I take responsibility for ~2% of the issues on my work system.
on my work computer, 99% of my issues are related to botched updates running in the background without my knowledge
I take responsibility for ~2% of the issues on my work system
Congrats on having 101% of your issues :)
98.5 rounds up to 99, 1.5 rounds up to 2%
means approximately 2 percent. So still right.Sometimes math is hard.
Also sometimes I take responsibility for fucking up silent updates - I hear the fan spinning up but I still feel the need to reboot just to settle things down.
100% of the issues on my personal system are self inflicted.
Are you one of those “No backup, no mercy”-folks? /j
Some of them are self-fixed, but I have a habit of hitting update without reading the breaking changes.
That said, crashes on my personal system are much fewer and farther between.
Not an IT, a friend onced told me their phone was getting hot and draining battery fast from last night. Naturally I asked if they installed any new apps or changed settings couple of times and the answer was clear no.
I checked the apps list and saw an obviously sus app (might be miner). I asked from when they had that app and they said ‘why? I installed it last night’.
That was the kind of app you get clicking ‘horny milves in your area’ ads.
My mom complained that her phone drains the battery from 100 to 20 in like 5 hours. I asked if she had installed something stupid, answer was obviously a no. Checked her apps and there was some gif keyboards and emoji keyboards and at least 3 different mirror apps and all kinds of garbage…
I love that… …milves.
MILVES?
Man I Love Vaginas & Erectile Semen?
Hard to keep up with these acronyms these days…
😂🤣
It’s not Mother’s In Lovely Vintage Erotic Sweaters?
No no, it’s gotta be…
Mom I Love Victoria’s Erotic Secret
I got slapped when I said I said that. And that ended up making me gay I think.
Can confirm, my home desktop more or less died while I was at work. I’d leave it running 24/7, as I had it set up as something of a simple server for a couple things, namely a remote desktop virtual machine.
So yeah, I didn’t touch it when it failed.
Cause: Bad capacitors and a failed chipset fan.
I had a work laptop just die one day. It had been working fine, but then I came back from lunch and it was off. After lots of troubleshooting, I narrowed it down to a fried M.2 SSD. I was WFH, so definitely no interaction at the time of failure.
I had a GPU fan losing one blade while gaming, once. Made loud ricochet and clang sounds in the PC and then a loud humming (from the remaining off center fan). Really scary. I shut it down and found the blade sitting at the bottom, but it didn’t break anything else. I replaced the whole GPU cooler and it worked for years. Never had this again, but sometimes things just break.
My chipset fan literally rusted internally, from Mississippi air humidity. I do have a brand new fan and brand new replacement capacitors, but I still need to pick up a new PSU.
My desktop has been down for like 8 years, but I do all my own resoldering and other work, so it’s really just a matter of laziness.
I’ve been doing just fine with my 2 laptops for years, so I guess I’ll get to my desktop whenever I feel bored enough.
Did you implement a change last night?
No.
Did you implement a change last night?
No.
Did you implement a change last night?
…Yes
You say that… but I’ve seen things stop working on their own all the time
If you poison somebody and they make it a couple miles down the road before Keeling over you still poisoned them
