my friends are mostly nice people, although obviously negative without many friends. they constantly have to bring up me having autism or being the r-slur when something comes up.
they tell me not to be friends with certain people, not to hang out with them and make more friends because “they hate me, they see me as subhuman because im autistic”.
my one friend, j (18m) has autism and needs more support than i do. he, however, tells me no one hates me except for certain bullies who have talked behind our backs, but have also talked behind like 98% of people they know’s.
the first friend i mentioned says people will continue to hate me for as long as i’m in special ed (“sp3d” and “ret4rded”) and that if i truly want to be liked, i should stop spending time with j because he’s “slow” and “severely autistic”.
she also says “I don’t wanna judge and hate autistic people but I do 🤭” but uses the “i have adhd, bipolar, anxiety, ptsd, etc!” excuse.
the odd thing is that i’m in advanced classes (all honors) but i’m being considered “slow”, which i said, but she replied with “well I don’t think you are! they do though!”
if people are actually nice to me, she says “well, they’re actually bullies but they have to be nice to autistic kids.”
she could be truthful and looking out for me, or be looking out for me with a despairing view (no hope for others)
and the thing i’m upset about the most is that people that aren’t j or them hate me because IM autistic. im in honors but still seen as slow. j is very smart but seen as slow. yes, i can see why people wouldn’t like the fact that he’s eccentric or socially awkward, but you should never assume he’s slow, especially when he’s highly intelligent.
Seems like J is a real friend and the other person isn’t. She is exaggerating the issue and making it sting, which isn’t very friendly. Decent people won’t judge you for it, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Agreed. The ones talking crap are not friends. Most people will neither notice or care about autism. The decent ones will never call you a retard. Some people can be such assholes, screw em.
they seem to think a slur/disability is your entire identity and that you have no personality or interests
If she’s not sweet on you, she has no business acting like this. If she is sweet on you, she’s got some changes to make, starting with all this bs, and finding someone else(besides you) to wave red flags at.
Basically, call yourself whatever you want, but she’s being a manipulative child.
she also complains that no one likes her and when i say i relate, she says because im retarded.
she also says people hate me but don’t tell me because im disabled
She’s intentionally isolating you as a buffer against her own insecurities. To her way of thinking, you’re both safe, un-likely to turn on her in spite of abuse, and someone she can feel better about herself by looking down upon.
You got a bunch of friends there. Cool. But do you have respect 'cuz you haven’t written about that.
I won’t pretend to know your situation because it varies wildly, but one group vetting your social connections is generally a red flag in my books. Lots of friends doesn’t work for everyone and it’s not an autistic thing, but an introvert thing. I have very few, amazing friends and it’s the perfect balance for me.
I’d put a stop to the offensive behavior either way. Next time look them straight in the eye and say: 🤷"Hey, where’s the respect?" You’ll get your answer one way or another.
