my friends tell me stuff like: “No, you can’t be friends with these people!”

when i ask why, they say it’s because they hate me secretly and don’t want me around because i have autism.

when they’re actually being nice to me, then they say “oh yeah, they’re only being nice to you because they pity you. they want to feel good about themselves so they’re nice to the ‘(r-word)’ kid in special ed”.

and it makes me wonder if it’s because they’re looking out for me and they’re either very negative, being truthful and everyone really does see me as “less than human” and are only nice because im autistic, or they’re being mean.

  • Pronell@lemmy.world
    10·
    3 days ago

    They might think that they’re protecting you, but you’ll need to learn for yourself who is really your friend and who isn’t.

    It’s also possible they’re being mean, intentionally or not.

    Me, I’m probably only a little autistic. I talk a good game, especially one on one. So when I was back in school, I managed to have one friend from just about every clique. One who took the time to talk to me and realize I was cool and had something going on.

    And I treasured that. I knew I wasn’t an unlikeable person, doomed to a lonely life.

    So don’t let your current friends gatekeep you from making more. But be careful and don’t let people take advantage of you either. There are mean people and then there are dangerous people.

    I only say that on the off chance that your friends know what they mean when they say “You can’t be friends with them.”

    • drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      31·
      3 days ago

      im for sure not friends with the edgy, ableist kids, nor the “cheerleader type” girls but everyone else is ok. they usually say “people think you’re (r-word), special ed, etc.” or “no one likes you except for me.”

      “you know, you’re not gonna have many friends. people are gonna keep thinking you’re (r-slur) and hate you if you keep hanging out with [this one boy with autism, higher support needs than i need] since he’s very autistic.”

      • Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        The greatest feeling is when you finally realize it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. Just do you, and be proud of it.

  • Zachariah@lemmy.world
    2·
    2 days ago

    Are you able to get an opinion from someone else (like a teacher) about the people your friends are warning you about?

    I’m not sure how your friends are able to make such a blanket judgement.

    Even if they have good intentions, and even if those people could end up mistreating you, it’s rarely a waste to try to make connections. Even if the connection is just a flop. You really can’t know people unless you spend a lot of time with them.

    If you want to try to make connections with the people your friends are warning you about, just tell them, “Thank you, but I’ll give them a chance and make up my own mind about them.”

    • GB19@lemm.eeEnglish
      3·
      3 days ago

      I find it odd they say EVERYONE hates op, especially as their friends