Y’all would be too busy “jorking it” (your peantis) and be like “um well maybe” ha, shut up and get out NERD.
When my friend turned 21, he wanted to have his birthday party at a strip club
This being Milwaukee, that meant Silk Exxxotic, which is not a classy place
It was loud and bright, which as an autistic person, did not jive with me at all
It was coincidentally Amateur night when we went and one of the girls was so unaccustomed to walking in heels, she fell on top of me and I got covered in glitter and baby oil
My friend had a good time, but I got a lot of trauma that night which even the copious amounts of drugs I am on right now cannot abate
You were already covered in glitter and baby oil and you just left without putting on a show yourself?
I wasn’t as comfortable with my body as I am now
It was coincidentally Amateur night when we went and one of the girls was so unaccustomed to walking in heels, she fell on top of me and I got covered in glitter and baby oil
Yup, on the positive side, I probably saved her from cracking her face apart on the floor
I almost died from embarrassment when I put on a condom for the first time when I was 24, I ain’t going near such establishments
I have never been to a nudie bar for any gender and will likely keep it that way. Seems like a good way to lose $200 with nothing to show for it.
unfurling thread like a cursed scroll that’s one hell of an act, what do you call it?
The ballad of the hexbear shitposter trapped in da club.
I’ve been dragged there on stag nights and it is just gross and weird. Like I legit do not understand how anyone enjoys it. All the worst parts of an overpriced club combined with a bunch of sleazy dudes staring at titties. Maybe I’m just an especially private kind of person, or maybe it’s because I’m “gray ace” (whatever that is) but I’d much rather see titties in the comfort of my own home, preferably attached to someone who I have mutual love and trust with, and not some random lady forced to do it so she can afford college.
