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Having a great week here. Feeling the strongest and healthiest I’ve felt since before bottom surgery, my surgeon is optimistic we’ll finally be finished treating post-op granulation tissue in the next few weeks, and after a long wait I finally got to see the speech therapist to start some real voice training!
I’m doing pretty good. I found a new therapist and I’ve been seeing her, though I’m not 100% sure yet if I trust her. She is trans too though so that’s a good sign I guess. Also I’ve been feeling a lot more calm lately, I’m not sure if it’s because of HRT or things going well but it’s nice.
Had a medical appointment where the tech referred to me as a “good girl” and a “sweet girl” several times. I felt pretty great that day 💖
It is a bit amusing how ironic it is that conservative places are also some of the most accidentally gender-affirming. The South seems like a place you are far more likely to get terms of endearment like good / sweet girl, darling, sweetie, honey, dear, and so on.
When I first started getting these, I didn’t realize it meant I was passing, I primarily thought it signaled confusion about my age.
So I get why cis women would be quite upset about being called these terms, they are infantilizing in a way men never experience, and a clear example of sexism and the way women and femininity are taken as non-serious, like a child might be.
But I never had a childhood where these terms applied to me, and pretty quickly I learned being called these terms meant the person genuinely saw me as a woman (maybe a young woman, but not a trans woman). So for the most part, I love it when these Southern women affirm me and call me by cute endearing terms like “sweet girl”, I just overlook the sexism and bask in the affirmation / ewphoria. 🥰
Doing okay, been very busy with work lately but I might have some time off and go for some walks.
Fairly mixed as far as the news here (UK) goes - that supreme court decision was awful but seeing the protests yesterday really cheered me up. And knowing my friends (the ones I am out to) support me too was really nice
I went to grippy sock jail and there were no grippy socks, 3/10 wouldn’t do again. One of the nurses was trans and she was the only person there who didn’t make me feel judged or crowded, everything else was god awful.
Doing okay now, things aren’t stable yet but I’m working hard on fixing everything.
Congrats on doing okay now :)
Shame about the lack of socks, i hear they sell them elsewhere tho if you want the novelty (and I think some have paw pads instead of just generic rubbery grid!)
Oh haha, I didn’t really care that much about the socks but paw pads? Now we’re talking!
I asked my doctor about progesterone, because yolo. Her response was that WPATH doesn’t recommend it, but some people see improved breast development so she’ll prescribe it if I want. My goodness that stuff is expensive! I’m on 100mg oral so not expecting much, but I’ll report back if anything fun happens. It does seem to be helping me sleep a bit better, although that could just be the metabolites.
Late to the party as usual I played through Doki Doki Literature Club. Good game, and I can’t believe I managed to avoid too many spoilers this long! I had fun analyzing the characters afterwards too, iykwim.
Just FYI, oral progesterone is filtered by your liver and you don’t get enough of it in your blood stream, see this article:
https://transfemscience.org/articles/oral-p4-low-levels/
[N]ewer studies using more accurate blood tests … have shown that 100 mg/day progesterone—with or without food—achieves very low peak progesterone levels of only about 2 to 3 ng/mL and average progesterone levels over 24 hours of only about 0.1 to 0.6 ng/mL. In accordance, oral progesterone has often shown only weak progestogenic effects in clinical studies. Higher doses of oral progesterone that might achieve better levels are limited by persistingly low progesterone levels, pronounced neurosteroid side effects caused by the first pass of progesterone through the liver, and substantial variability between individuals. While the progesterone levels with oral progesterone are apparently sufficient for endometrial protection in cisgender women, they are unlikely to be adequate for desired effects in transfeminine people. For these reasons, transfeminine people and their clinicians may wish to avoid oral progesterone if the aim is therapeutic progestogenic effects. Instead, non-oral forms of progesterone with greater bioavailability like rectal or injectable progesterone can be used. Alternatively, progestins, which are likewise fully effective progestogens, can be employed.
As weird as it sounds at first, I personally recommend and use rectal administration of bioavailable progesterone (using the same oral pills). It has worked well for me, and I mostly use it to help me sleep when my estrogen levels are high enough that my sleep might be impacted (sometimes I have trouble sleeping as long when my estrogen is peaking).
Again, I know it sounds weird to administer it rectally, but this is not uncommon in the trans community and seems like the safer and more effective way to take progesterone (esp. since injectable options are not available in the U.S., and would require daily injections, which is a hassle).
Thanks! (That’s actually the same article I linked in my post :3 )
In the section “A Note on Oral Progesterone’s Metabolites”, Aly notes that it’s not yet known whether or not the metabolites have progestogenic effects, but I’m prepared to believe that the oral route is less effective. I’m open to trying other routes.
My pills are kind of round capsules with gel inside, so I assume they contain microscopic natural progesterone crystals, rather than synthetic progestins. But I guess it doesn’t matter too much either way.
Ah, I missed that it was the same link, lol. Glad you’re informed, that’s the main thing.
I’ve taken my prog orally once before, I actually found it helped me sleep less than rectal administration, but I know people’s experiences vary significantly (others report less sleepy feelings with rectal administration, and strong sleepy effects when taken orally).
And yes, I think the gel capsules are usually micronized bioidentical progesterone:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OGiomfiMk18nPb3ITKZD9pWPvWRUlyI06enxahQpHBI/edit?tab=t.0
Synthetic progestins are usually pressed-powder tablets:
I would guess the metabolites seem more likely to carry undesirable side effects and health risks, just like progestins, compared to bioidentical hormones circulating in the blood, but who knows.
Came out to long time friend couple days ago. Turns out he’s queer too which I absolutely didn’t expect.
I don’t want to say I have found a new name yet but I have pretty much found one.
2 months on HRT and my hair has just visibly started regrowing. Crazy honestly. Still needs a while before it stops being sucky though.
Getting better at trans voice, I can get something down pretty consistently now even though the way it sounds is still questionable (though that might be because it’s really hard to tell with my own voice, getting feedback from someone in a bit).
So yeah pretty great I’d say. At least in terms of transitioning.
Well, friday was very warm weather. I went grocery shopping and was immediately jealous of every woman in the store; everyone had pretty clothes (because Easter i guess, dressing up for family gatherings?) Men’s clothing is just so… blah. So that felt a little miserable.
Earlier in the week i found out my ADHD evaluation appointment needed to be rescheduled… after I finished the hour+ drive to get to it. Because i didn’t see the text notifying me.
Ha ha, yes I was also getting jealous of women in light skirts and dresses this weekend. Keep getting stuck in a loop of “wish I could wear that… wait, I can… but should I…”, even though there’s no reason not to.
Not even the skirts, the colorful blouses in so many different styles and cuts and materials
I would need to be significantly further along with HRT related body changes (including even starting HRT) for myself to feel comfortable even buying nice clothes like that, let alone wearing it in public. I don’t like buying clothes if i don’t know they’ll fit longer term. Anxiety sucks. 😕
I hear that. Good luck though, you’ll get there eventually!
Thanks! I look forward to someday sitting down with a good book and a cat or two, wearing a nice comfy sundress on a warm breezy day ☺️
