never was good in school, was one of the lowest grades kids in my year, but in math and gym i was very high, and those logical and easy classes. i always been very good at video games, card games, boardgames, sports and other stuff where you can use basic math and logcial thinking in.
finished high school with eeh lower grade score then most others i would say, but still a little bit under the avrage grade avrage in our country, (went to sport school so spport classes gave me a bit better grade). i fought i was just very good at math, cooking, food, logcial thinking, and i just was just bad at languge, history and remeber words.
started on uni right after, and it went worse, i just couldnt deal with it, so i failed and dropped out after 1 year, took a break 2 years, worked and tryed to go in sports, dint go well, went back to school, same shit, dint go well, i felt something was wrong with me. i contacted the doctor, about depresseion, talked about stuff why i was sad (sueside foguhts, no motvation to do stuff and so on), and we brought up adhd, and i was alredy diagnosed with languge disorder since i was a child (my parents never told me anything).
my whole life i just felt i was stupid and had no motvation, since i never did good in class, i just told myself, your just as smart as others (guess it worked, still i am here to this day). never been able to take instruction, never felt like i could talk with others, always was the bad social guy.
working has not much issue languge issue with basic blue collar work or similar basic stuff. but no, i my brain just dint awnt this, my brain just went 1 million foguhts about why were doing this, and i just chased more dopamine or it was just to boring. told myself its becuse social media and games just made my dopamine receptiors overloard most of my life and has to take time to adjust to boring easy work. but no dint work, speed up to now, took a adhd test at the doctor, yee i got add, yay. now i know why i had it this awefull whole life. languge disorder and adhd.
im 25 right now, and i failed this univeristy aswell, and honsetly i just dont see much point in living. its just so hard to fucos and even learn more advanced stuff. and when im doing basic stuff, my brain just go insane.
maybe im just stupid not going to the doctor earlyer? but i asked my parents why its so hard to learn and motivate on school, and they just told me that i game to much. even recently after i found out i had languge disorder (from my insruance paper, and doctor visit), i asked my parents about my languge disorder, and they just told me “go and read a book, and you will have no problem” and i have read os much stuff tro my life, and for example latin words i just never remeber, never could.
i have no idea what to do from now off, maybe beg for disable salary, and try to fix my life or find way i can enjoy life?
University is bullshit, do trade school (if you bother with school at all). I’ve met some brilliant doctors, but I’ve also met some that are dumb as a bag of rocks and just memorized everything they needed for the USMLE. On the other hand I’ve met more brilliant roofers, car mechanics, and cooks than I can count.
My recommendation is that you start with a “values assessment.” Here’s a few different versions: Quiz Version - Sortable Cards - Balanced Worksheet
Try to narrow it down to three core values that define the person you would be if you were your best self. Once you’ve got those three, try to come up with 2 goals for each value:
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What this would look like in 5 years: try to keep it broad so that it’s something more achievable like instead of “I want to be a veterinarian” you might say “I want to work with animals” or instead of “I want to have a million dollars” you might say “I want to be financially stable / independent”
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Something you can do this week that would be the first step on that path: helps to keep it super super simple so that it’s real easy to get started, like you might plan to start looking at vet tech schools or call the SPCA to find out how to volunteer, or you might start figuring out how to start a savings account.
A great tip for staying on track is also to create a “vision board” either just with pictures as your phone background, a literal magazine cutting collage, or something on an app like pinterest. Hope this helps!
Whats a trade school? Learn how to buy and sell stocks?
Oh no like, as opposed to university for some vague degree in art or political science or some super high level degree like engineering or medicine you go to a community college or technical school for a more blue collar “trades” job like plumbing or to be an electrician or welder, or to do a low-level Healthcare job like nursing assistant or x-ray technician, or to be like a teachers aid or to learn how to set up phone / tv / internet cable and radio towers and stuff. Something you need school for so it’s a little more interesting and pays more, but it’s not as much school and it’s a lot more working with your hands on practical stuff than like four years of theory or whatever. And they’re usually jobs in much higher demand to the extent that your local trade school may actually have government subsidized classes for the jobs your area really needs the most.
Yee, i was studying x ray technician… Idk, maybe i hate myself and depression get most out of me. I know im old, but like i hate my life :(
Lol you’re not even old I went to nursing school at 25 and my career still feels like I’m only starting and the only reason I’m getting this far this early is that the field I chose is so in demand. Try the values assessment, see if maybe that just didn’t align with who you are.
It’s possible the psychiatrist alone wasn’t the best plan. If you can afford neuropsychiatric testing they may be able to give you more specific answers, but honestly even just a therapist who specializes in learning disabilities and stuff like adhd and autism could be a good fit and do some good skill building. You may even be able to find some free support groups in your area or online as well.
Your parents might be right about the video games fucking up your attention. They can, like you say, mess with your dopamine levels. There are AA style groups for video games but really for behavioral addictions I tend to prefer recommending Self management and recovery training (SMART) which also has free groups, many over video chat / online. You can Google it its pretty great.
In the meantime see if you can leverage the video game addiction for some good and pick up a few educational ones to see if you can gain some other useful skills. Maybe try duolingo to pick up a useful second language or some of the ones that build math / logic or English language skills. They also have ones for mental health skill building and adhd management that will try to help you form a routine. They won’t be as engaging as the ones really designed to be a time suck but think of them less as a replacement drug and more of as a taper to move away from the video games.
Worst case scenario you could actually try an impatient style treatment program or rehab to force yourself cold turkey.
Ultimately though you will have to decide you want to be happier and know that it might take up to a year or more to really see results, which can be a hard thing to hear and even harder to actually do. Best of luck!
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Your parents may be wonderful and loving people, but they are not mental health specialists. Games and social media are not the cause of your ADHD or your language disorder.
Too much social media or games are not good for you because they generally only show you the best and sometimes the worst sides of humanity. It is very natural to compare yourself to what you see there. They are not real life. Nobody is successful or happy all of the time. Nobody is good at every subject. Some of the brightest people I’ve ever met have terrible life skills, and it’s okay to be bad at stuff. That’s part of being human. The things we see on social media are more like single frames of a movie. Video games, broadly speaking, allow the player to stop and resume with no consequences. Real life has no pause button or quests that will be available when you’re ready and you feel like it. Real life is what happens between those frames and during those pauses, even now as you read this.
You now know you have ADHD and a language disorder. That’s a great first step because it helps you understand why you feel the way you do. If you want to change how you feel, you need to take the next step: get treatment for your problems. I speak from experience when I say untreated ADHD can affect the trajectory of your life in ways you do not realize. DO NOT IGNORE IT. It will not go away or get better on its own. You must act. This is the way to fix your life, to find a way to enjoy life. If you’re already getting treatment, then step three is Do. Do cool shit. Do make mistakes and learn from them. Do fun things, do hard things, do self care things. Do take a moment to appreciate your milestones, your victories however small or great, and then…keep doing.
You do not need to be better than other people. Just be the best version of you that you can be.
Rest when you are tired, but never give up. Perseverance is perhaps the most powerful tool we have.
There is a niche for everyone out there, acedamia isn’t the only path.
As am anecdotal examples:My dad did not do amazing in school, but he became a machine repair type person, and eventually managed all aspects of assembly line planning , machine installation and maintenance. He can take any mechanical system and strip it down and fix it and rebuild it (even if no manual existed).
My son was born with DownSyndrome. He has decent reading and language skills, but abstract stuff like math he does struggle with. But he can bang out awesome video edits, or PowerPoint’s like a pro, and when the Daylight savings hits, he is the only one that remembers what menu that is under in the car Infotainment system. LOL.
He will also come up with the most creative was to tackle a problem with what we have on hand.Point being, A+ doesn’t always get you ahead in life, there are other avenues to success
