I think I’m done. I lost my job (unfortunately right after getting a mortgage) and after 3 months I can’t get anything else. I’m 44, got plenty of experience, just not the right kind it seems.
I think I have also lost my desire to do this work. It could be that my current predicament is shaping this attitude. One thing certainly is : the recruitment process. All the dumb questions, all the dumb rejections. Anyway, this could be it. I could be out of design after 20 years. id say only half were mildly enjoyable.
It’s not a good career. It’s not even well paid. I don’t understand why people want to do this kind of job. You have to defend yourself all the time, you have to prove yourself all the time, the people you are designing for are often people without any sense of design but they still often make all the decisions. And after 20 years, the same problems, the same needing to prove oneself, it’s like nothing I have done matters. And all I have done is design stuff for tons of different companies that don’t really add to the world. I haven’t done anything that matters even though I worked really hard.
I understand there is a possibility that some people have a really nice career in design and they are respected and elevated and get to be promoted to other positions of they want. Maybe it was just bad luck for me.
The situation right now its, I need a job. The Ux world doesn’t seem to want me anymore. I have so much to offer, but I can’t spend so much of my life giving to something that doesn’t want me and is not giving anything back.
All the problems you’ve listed, I feel I’ve dealt with as a software engineer as well, is there any role in tech that’s free from these issues. I’ve recently been laid off as well, and unlike you I’ve only been in this career for less than 5 years and I don’t feel like doing it anymore either, I just don’t know what I can switch to at this point, I already have a master’s degree, I don’t like the idea of going back to university to get another degree that I have to commit to for 2 years or more, I sometimes think of some kind of tech focused MBA so I no longer have to grind for tech interviews and keep up with new technologies that become popular.
I empathise with you, although not in the same position. There are some times in a day I find this work inspiring, but still go home thinking it’s all BS. I end up just thinking that getting paid is OK, with little joy coming from the work. I see people who live and breathe this stuff, yet I question whether what we do is actually as important as you’ll have communicated to you in conferences and books.
I can’t offer you advice, or comfort really, but you’re not alone in your feelings. When you need an income, it’s less about the job and more about the money. Do something to make you happy.